Pacific Grits

Father's Day - A Brief History

2011-06-19T06:07:00.000-07:00

With Father's Day upon us it is important for fathers to remember how we, as an inferior societal subculture to mothers, got where we are. After all, Father's Day did not get off the ground until well after Mother's Day was established in the United States.

Father's Day unofficially began in 1922 by a group of men in Topeka, Kansas, fathers all, who desperately needed a new grill. Such an unlikely scenario, conceived over a jug of hooch, actually worked, and the very grill is still in use today by the grandson of one of the Father's Day founding fathers, though it is in a state of serious disrepair.

The Father's Day concept spread across the mid-West and finally became a loosely adopted holiday across most of the U.S., as men everywhere were clamoring for an excuse to upgrade their barbecues annually.

During the 1950s Father's Day, still not a national holiday, was hijacked by the tie industry, and for more than 40 years the necktie reigned supreme as the go-to Father's Day gifts until, thanks to discount retailers such as Wal-Mart and Fred Meyer, grills began making a comeback in the mid-1990's.

Father's Day became official in 1972, with a proclamation by President Richard Nixon, who during his re-election campaign promised "a grill in every garage." Though Father's Day became official, the promise was twisted by savvy retailers who advertised in the Sunday supplements "a tie around every neck."

Coach

2011-06-15T18:24:00.000-07:00

I don’t fly much anymore. In fact, until last week it’s been almost two years. I don’t have anywhere to go anymore.

Back when I kept a carry-on bag perpetually packed I would complain about airport parking, flight delays, gate changes and receiving too few mushrooms with my steak and potatoes. I realize now how petty my complaints were. Petty, I know. Petty.

Last week my complaint had less to do with the airlines and the TSA and more to do with no longer enjoying platinum status. I was forbidden to use the platinum screening lane at SeaTac. I was unable to board early. There was no first class upgrade waiting for me at the gate. No one offered to take my jacket upon boarding. During the flight I had a small cup of juice and the tiniest pack of peanuts imaginable, and I had to wait a long time for it. I had a tiny square napkin instead of a hot towel and lemon water.

In a previous career when someone made a huge mistake (like cutting a live fiber optic cable by mistake), instead of harsh disciplinary measures the mistake-maker was required to write a “lessons learned” report and share it with the team.

Here is my Lesson Learned: complaints are relative. Navigate the small speedbumps with patience and a smile. Those things which I complain about today might be insignificant in another set of circumstances.

A Reply

2011-05-10T18:01:00.000-07:00

A reply to an email query for 150 take-out grilled chicken salads:

We provide a very exclusive product marketed to the upper classes, so I want to make sure you are aware of the quality of what we do. We cater only to the highest, most specialized palates.

We raise our own chickens at our Lake Pontarayne poultry farm in Washington State. These are Idaho Gerbers, the Boorman breed with the yellow top feathers and the extra toe, free range chickens known for their succulent taste, exceptional texture and superior fighting ability. Only three farms in the United States raise the Idaho Boorman Gerbers. The other two are currently under investigation by the US Department of Agriculture.

Each hen is cold-shocked, de-beaked and then hand-processed (we do not use illegals for our plucking, but only highly trained, college educated pheasantry artisans) and flown express to our local store where each grilled chicken salad plate is prepared to individual expectations and tastes. We have over 300 sauces to choose from, including Bison Berry Thrush and Nuthatch. Only the freshest Guatemalan avocados are used for our smesh, each gently roasted in a lemon curry for 40 minutes before basting in a peppercorn crabgrass marinade, which we pre-prepare with Grandpa Hobson’s #2 Kentucky Barrel Hooch-Flavored Whiskey, aged 18 years.

Our hens are charcoal-filtered for impurities before being dismembered and skewered. They are prepared over 800 degree coals in a brick oven custom designed for us by Martinique Boulaurde, the famous French chef and author of “Cooking Goat the Auxerre Way.” (He has a TV show, “I said Cake!” premièring August 13 on the FOOD Network.)

Each of our dishes is certified Kosher by Rabbi Ezekiel Daniel Hosea, of the Ark of the Covenant Synagogue in Charleston, West Virginia. A $15 kosher fee is added to the price of every dish. But the peace of mind you get with our Rabbinically approved culinary delights is worth its weight in bublik.

We plate our meals on Wodehouse Bone China, a superior plate endorsed by the Duchess of York and the National Basketball Association. This plate is similar to the plates used by President Obama at the White House, except the White House plates do not have a picture of a chicken on them. This is an exact replica of the plate on which Brussels sprouts were served by Jeeves to Bernard Wooster and Roderick Spode, the 7th Earl of Sidcup, at Totleigh Towers before the disaster at Shipley Hall. There is a courtesy deposit of $90 per plate (a $110 value!). Our customers may keep the plate or return it for the deposit. Deposits are issued by check and mailed within 90 days of the return of the Wodehouse Bone China plates, once each is certified to be in good condition. Credit is not provided for plates that are returned, damaged, chipped, drawn on with magic marker or otherwise vandalized or defaced in a manner inconsistent with the product’s manufacturer’s specifications. Questions about Wodehouse Bone China or its subsidiaries, Carl’s Cups & Company and Gunderson’s House of Veal, may be directed to Wodehouse, Consumer Division, Greenwich, England.

PRICE PER PERSON
Grilled Chicken Salad $69
Kosher Fee $15
Take-Out Fee $10
Plating Fee $6
Internet Order Charge $2
Deposit on Bone China $90
TOTAL PER PERSON $192

Please let us know when you are ready to place your order. We will have Rabbi Hosea standing by.

A Blast from the Past - 1984

2011-04-19T02:13:00.000-07:00

Buck, Toast and Jelly.

I'd like to imagine these were carefree times. And in many respects they were.

But in the moment, here are three guys worried about doing well in school, agonizing over girlfriends, breaking in their drivers licences and imagining how, 27 years hence, life away from parents and school and lame part time jobs will be liberating and free.

The guy in the middle sees himself in his early 40's operating something akin to Rick's Cafe American in some exotic locale like Casablanca, chatting with the piano player, bribing local officials and dealing with the occasional ex-girlfriend who walks in the door with her husband and tells the piano player to "Play it, Sam."

Tidbits

2011-04-13T12:52:00.000-07:00

I was on my way to Spatula City and stopped in at Pistachio World. It's an amazing store, I am surprised I'd never shopped there before. It's about as big as a Wal-Mart and they have every variety of pistachio. I picked up ten pounds of peppered pistachios and they're awful.

When making sanwiches at home there is no substitute for homemade mayonnaise. Use a walnut oil to infuse the mayo with a deep and complex flavor, along with fresh egs and lemon juice. And don't keep the mayo more than a couple of weeks in the refrigerator. Unlike store-bought mayo, homemade tends to spoil.

When making potato salad there is no substitute for real mayonaise. Duke's.

The episodes featuring Uncle Arthur were among the best of the series. Who wouldn't want an uncle like Uncle Arthur? Bonus points if the episode was one in which Cousin Serena also guest-starred.

And speaking of television, "Black Adder" was a very funny show. I don't know too many people who have seen it. My 2009 Christmas season was finally complete when BBC America aired the "Black Adder Christmas Carol" on Christmas Eve. Missed it this past Christmas, and I am still not recovered.

Overheard today while standing in line at the bank: "I need to buy World of Warcraft but there's no money in my account."

Monday Cold with Jeff Bridges and Cocktail Umbrellas

2010-12-28T09:09:00.000-08:00

AN UNPUBLISHED POST FROM JULY 26, 2010:

It is not uncommon for me to stay up late and rise at 5 AM after four hours sleep. Of course the downside to that practice is the much needed evening nap of an hour or so.

When I try and go for a good eight hours rest, like last night, I am up and wide awake by 3 AM. All I can do is watch TV. As I dislike most TV, I seek out a movie to watch.

This morning, in addition to being wide awake at 0300, I found myself suffering a terrible cough and head cold. I ventured into the living room where I could sit up, which helped the cough, and turned on the TV. Do you remember back when we all thought TRON was cutting edge movie technology? And remember hanging out at the arcade with a pocket full of quarters, how cool that was? I had not seen the movie in maybe twenty years, around the last time I walked into an video game arcade with a pocketful of quarters. On viewing it at 4 AM this morning, TRON did not seem as cool and cutting edge as it had in 1982.

Now they are bringing back Jeff Bridges and the Troncycles for a sequel. I was thinking about this around 6:30 this morning, when I went back to bed, my stomach full of expectorants and decongestants.

I awoke later that usual and dragged myself to the breakfast table. My daughter, who had squeezed a pitcher of fresh OJ this morning from ten pounds of oranges, took notice of my cold and prepared for me the juice from half a grapefruit, freshly squeezed and poured up in a shot glass with a paper umbrella.

UPDATE, DECEMBER 28, 2010:

I am pleased to report that my cold is gone, and that I have seen Tron: Legacy, and found it better than the original.

Goodbye Old Friend

2010-09-15T20:25:00.000-07:00

I said goodbye to my friend the other day. Strange how attached we become to our cars, particularly those that have been good to us, that have provided us with memories.

Several years ago we moved out of the city and bought a house in the burbs to raise our child. We were moving out when it occurred to me that I would have no way to get to work, as I had for several years enjoyed walking to work in downtown Seattle every day. My neighbor told me that he had just gotten a company car and was selling his little Geo, so I bought it for cash and his wife and I went down to the DMV and transferred the title. I drove that little green car until it would drive no more, rolling to a stop at my mechanic’s for the last time. Walt told me how many thousands of dollars it would cost me to get the Geo back on the road, when the blue book value was about $800. Next door, at the Ford dealership, a blue Mustang caught my eye. It had been ordered by someone whose financing fell through, and I bought it.

I tried to hide it from my wife, but that didn’t last long. I was in my driveway with my friend Matt when my wife came out and said, “Whose car is this?”

Shortly thereafter I got the Tahoe, which I drove to work every day. The Mustang stayed in the garage until the weekends. On Saturdays I would take her out and drive her around while I ran errands. I’d wash her and drive her to my standing Saturday night movie date with Mike.

Last summer Mike and I took the Mustang on a 4,000 mile road trip down the Pacific coast, across the desert to Texas, and around the Gulf of Mexico before heading north to South Carolina. I opened her up on the Pacific Coast Highway between San Francisco and Los Angeles, and she handled like a dream. It was the best driving experience of my life, one I would heartily recommend.

Last Friday I began to cross an intersection near my home on a green light. I saw a truck barreling towards me and stopped my car, but he was going too fast to stop, and never braked. The 62-year-old driver of a purple Ford F-150 ran a red light going about 50 miles per hour in a 35 zone and plowed into the driver’s side of the Mustang before losing control, leaving the road, crossing the sidewalk through the landscaping of a shopping center before crashing into a tree. The force of the impact spun my car around and propelled me in the same direction he was travelling. I came to a stop 40 feet away.

I recall dialing 911 on my cell phone and pressing SEND, but never lifted the phone to my ear. Debris was everywhere. Despite a sore leg and hip, I was able to get out of my vehicle. I could see that the driver of the Ford truck was slumped over his steering wheel, immobile. I would leave his fate to others. The next few minutes are a blank, but then there were three police cars and an ambulance parked nearby. The EMT, I recall, was most annoying. I wanted him to go away. There was no way I was going anywhere in an ambulance. I was worried about my car.

The Mustang was bleeding heavily. There was radiator fluid everywhere. I picked up the grill off the street. The hood was hanging against the passenger side door. I noticed that the frame was bent about 30 degrees. There will be no repairing her.

The real tragedy is this: I found out the gentleman who hit me has passed away. I thank God that I am walking and breathing right now. My prayers and sympathies are with his family.

I had some great times in that car, many with my daughter, who patted me Friday afternoon and offered sympathy as only a child can. “You’ll get another car, Daddy, but I don’t think you’d like a truck. Maybe another green car like you had before.”

If anyone has a 1996 Geo Prism for sale, let me know. I'm buying.

Celebrating the Fourth

2010-07-03T20:27:00.000-07:00

Independence Day for many means a day of independence from work. The coffee bar where I work is closed tomorrow, so I will be enjoying Independence Day as I have for many years: with my family.

About seven years ago I started preparing beef ribs for the Fourth of July using a recipe I found in Esquire magazine, and another July 3 has rolled around and I am dug in yet again for the long haul. Each rib goes through a a process that takes about 4-5 hours before it hits the grill in order to be flavorful and fully tender. I expect to remove the last batch of ribs from their bath in the roasting pan around 4:30 in the morning. More or less par for the course.

I always enjoy having ribs and corn on the cobb on the 4th, partially because my daughter loves both, and it's always a pleasure to prepare the meal for her. This year, however, there will be no cherry cobbler for dessert. I left my cherry trees behind in Seattle, so I have no freshly picked cherries. This year we'll adopt a Southern tradition and add peach ice cream into the mix.

This year I'll get to celebrate the holiday with the extended family, which I've not been able to do in years past. It should be a lot of fun. Oh, and I assume there will be a couple of episodes of "The Twilight Zone" tomorrow as well.

National Champs

2010-07-02T19:52:00.000-07:00

Celebrating the College World Series champions at the South Carolina capitol building with my daughter, the Hill Company and 40,000 others.

A Man of Action (Verbs)

2010-06-05T15:30:00.000-07:00

As great hope and change continues to wash over our country (not unlike the torrential rains we have experienced these past few days), I decided today to peruse my box of President Obama clippings and tally up the hope and count the change.

While leafing through the clippings what struck me as profound were the headlines themselves, more specifically the action verbs used in headline after headline following the name “Obama.” As agent of change the President must also be a man of action, and I hoped to make a list of these action verbs as a way of gauging the man’s personality and as a summation of the man’s accomplishments while thus far serving in office.

Here are the headlines, arranged alphabetically. I have included only subject, verb and object, dropping prepositional phrases and contextual references. Read into them what you will, though each is an actual headline.

Obama…

Accused Republicans
Angry at Energy Department
Angry at Fox
Angry at Netanyahu
Fires Back at Cheney
Goes Nuclear Over Sarah Palin
Lashes Out at AIG
Lashes Out at Arizona
Lashes Out at “Audacity of Banks”
Lashes Out at Banks
Lashes Out at “Big Media”
Lashes Out at BP
Lashes Out at CNBC
Lashes Out at “Fat Cat Bankers”
Lashes Out at Fox News
Lashes Out at Generals in Afghanistan
Lashes Out at GOP
Lashes Out at Haliburton
Lashes Out at Health Care Bill Opponents
Lashes Out at Health Insurers
Lashes Out at Hilary
Lashes Out at Honduras
Lashes Out at House Republicans
Lashes Out at iPods
Lashes Out at Iran
Lashes Out at Kanye West
Lashes Out at Lawmakers
Lashes Out at McCain
Lashes Out at New Media
Lashes Out at Oil Drillers
Lashes Out at Oil Industry
Lashes Out at Oil Company executives
Lashes Out at Opposing Viewpoints
Lashes Out at Republicans
Lashes Out at Sarah Palin
Lashes Out at The New Yorker
Lashes Out at US Banks
Lashes Out at Wall Street
Lashes Out During Golf Trip
Lashes Out Over “Cash for Clunkers” Analysis
Mocks Arizona Law
Mocks Bush
Mocks Cable Chatter
Mocks Cheney
Mocks Conservatives
Mocks D.C.’s Reaction to Winter Weather
Mocks Disabled Children
Mocks Entrepreneurship
Mocks Fox
Mocks GOP
Mocks GOP Doomsday Predictions
Mocks Health Care Bill Opponents
Mocks Leno
Mocks Limbaugh
Mocks Marijuana Question
Mocks McCain
Mocks McConnell
Mocks Media
Mocks Opponents
Mocks Palin
Mocks Patrick Henry
Mocks Plumbers
Mocks Presidential Seal
Mocks Private Insurance Companies
Mocks Rallies
Mocks Republicans
Mocks Scott Brown’s Truck
Mocks Special Olympics
Mocks Teabaggers
Mocks Tea Partiers
Mocks the Bible
Mocks the Handicapped
Mocks the iPad
Mocks US Military Personnel
Scolds Republicans
Struggles with Smoking Habit
Unleashes Frustration

Indeed, the President has not been sitting on his laurels. Between the lashing and mocking, he’s had time for unleashing and scolding, and was able (with justification, no doubt) to accuse a Republican or two.

We’ll check in again at mid-term elections. There’s bound to be some additional lashing come November.

Pills

2010-03-24T06:28:00.001-07:00

At a recent food show I had the privilege to meet someone who has been part of my life since I was a child: Poppinfresh, the Pillsbury Dough Boy, whom I affectionately refer to as “Pills.”

Pills is a pastry chef of the highest order. His biscuits are flakey, his cookies perfectly sweet, and his baked Alaska – wow!

Although we could not reach an arrangement for Pills to bake goodies for me at the coffee bar, we parted friends. He will always have a place in my heart. And yes, when you poke him in the stomach he does emit a high, squeak-like laugh.

The Promises of Hope and Change

2010-03-06T05:36:00.000-08:00

It’s been more than a year since the nation kicked George Bush out of office, so I spent some time looking back at campaign interviews and speeches and thought I’d take a moment to celebrate the promises of hope and change that have come to pass.

The end of the war. As pledged repeatedly before and during the 2008 presidential campaign, President Barack Obama pulled our troops out of Iraq and Afghanistan prior the deadline he submitted to the Senate in 2007. With victory declared and apologies to Muslims mailed out on White House stationery, American soldiers were all on their ships and planes on or before March 23, 2008, bound for America. Our men and women in uniform are back home where they belong, gainfully employed in our prospering economy, and Iraq and Afghanistan are well on their way to becoming important international allies.

Evil influences. Echoing a repeated campaign promise to rid government of the putrid influence of lobbyists, Obama took the oath of office and promptly hired more than 40 lobbyists for his own staff in order to keep them off Capital Hill, where their stench might influence members of Congress.

Saving the economy. The dire recession years of Reagan-Bush-Bush are but a memory due to the Obama stimulus package. Unemployment has plummeted to over 10% and fear and anxiety have left the American people, all of whom are now fat and happy and getting free gastric bypass operations.

Free health care for all. In the afterglow of Obama’s having brought the politically divided country together again in economic prosperity, both Democrats and Republicans overwhelmingly passed the health care bill in late 2008, which provides free medical treatment to all Americans at participating Social Security offices nationwide. Small business and the elderly poor have stepped up to the plate in their willingness to fund the trillions of dollars needed to create the eleven new government agencies required to support the bill.

Deficit spending. After slamming the Bush administration for its out-of-control deficit spending, the new President put a halt to all new spending in favor of using five trillion new “no minimum payment” government credit cards which don’t have to be paid off until the President and Congress are long dead and buried.

Guantanamo Bay. The President’s pledge to close the ill-conceived and human rights-violating prison at Guantanamo Bay by the end of 2009 came to pass just after Christmas and was celebrated in the streets across the Muslim world. The fathers, sons and brothers illegally imprisoned there were reunited with their families live on CNN. Most have already found gainful employment with militia groups in places like Iraq, Pakistan and Afghanistan.

A Cleaner Earth. The Obama administration unveiled a plan that will require communities across the nation to spend billions of dollars in 2011 cleaning the smog from the air, with no help from the new government credit cards. Fortunately, because of the stimulus plan, there are piles of cash lying around city halls and state capitols, which will make compliance easy. Besides, the EPA says, the billions spent sucking fog molecules out of the air will be offset by the billions of dollars saved in annual smog-related deaths, which I assume result from soot cancer and smog toe.

Unkept promises? The President indicated yesterday that any promises he has not kept were due to a particularly harsh Winter. We are merely thankful that Obama has yet to take any responsibility for this country and wish that former President George Bush, who, as an ex-President apparently retains enormous influence over the current administration, would just go away.

Looking Forward to Some Good Coffee

2010-02-17T20:13:00.000-08:00

There is a new coffee bar opening up soon not far from us. They are building now, and plan to open in April.

I look forward to getting a nice dark roast or an espresso drink, and maybe a frap or Italian soda for my kid. Oh, and a slice of red velvet cake.

http://www.jamestowncoffee.com/

Stowaway

2010-02-17T19:50:00.001-08:00

Back in the early summer a strange little creature I first thought was a dragon appeared on the rear of my car. He seemed like a happy fellow, and he was causing no harm, so I allowed him to stick around.

He traveled with me from the west coast to the east, and at some point in July disappeared.

Just the other day, shortly after discovering a snow being had taken up residence in my garage refrigerator, the happy little leech reappeared on my car.

Something is going on. And I intend to find out what.

Snowaway

2010-02-17T19:40:00.000-08:00

I found this creepy little guy lurking in the garage refrigerator yesterday. But like all creatures, he's doing what he needs to do to survive, I suppose. I will continue to give him sanctuary so long as he doesn't start raiding the fridge.

Strange that he has cocktail umbrellas for arms...

Snowball

2010-02-14T06:01:00.000-08:00

On Friday we played basketball while it was snowing.

I did not know snow could accumulate on a basketball. Cold, wet snow stuck to the basketball as we dribbled and shot, and it formed into little hard patches on the skin of the ball. Soon the ball lost a bit of its bounce.

We played until the basketball was covered with snow and our gloveless hands were numb.

The Pants Monster Strikes Again

2010-01-02T05:57:00.000-08:00

In 2006, I blogged about a traumatic pants experience with my Korean dry cleaning people. Two years later I blogged about finding a new Chinese cleaning outfit (read about it here) and was pleased... for a while.

There is a dry cleaners on the corner that I walked into last week with a sweater, dress, pants and pile of shirts. I had never been there before, had they had not been recommended. They were merely convenient.

The first thing to raise an alarm in my mind as I walked in the door was that the attendant was Caucasian. Now, please don't think I have anything against Caucasians - I don't. I am sure there are many fine Caucasian dry cleaners out there. The fact is, I used one non-Asian dry cleaner in the past twelve years and the results were less than satisfactory.

When I turned in my ticket and retrieved my clothes an astonishing thing had occurred: the dry cleaner had duplicated a pair of my pants.

Same pants, same brand, same size, identical in every way, the only difference being that one pair was pressed better than the other.

I don't know how they were replicated, and a phone call to their store provided no answers. They were as confused as I was.

I am keeping the pants.

December 26

2009-12-26T14:52:00.000-08:00

From my diary, December 26, 2008

I am back in the office today after a lovely Christmas. The roads are, for the first morning since Wednesday the 17th, relatively clear and free of ice and snow. At least along my commute, which is not to say it’s the same everywhere around the Sound.

From my diary, December 26, 2009

Everyone was in a foul mood this morning. No water. No heat. A pipe burst yesterday and we had water everywhere, including into the heating and air system. Caryn and Harper went off to wash and dry the towels and blankets she used to mop up the mess(and to keep the waters from flowing into the living room), and I went to the folks and showered. Dad followed me back and we went to work. We stripped insulation from the ducting in the basement, which poured water, insulation under the floor, drained the ducting, ripped out drywall and managed to fix the broken pipe (after three trips to Lowe's) and then I broke the water line to the kitchen faucet, which still needs to be fixed. But we have heat, and water, except to the kitchen sink and dishwasher.

The joys of the holidays! What a difference a year makes.

A Christmas Memory 2009

2009-12-25T08:03:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas, everyone!

A Christmas Memory 2008

2009-12-24T19:17:00.000-08:00

Christmas 2008 was my last Christmas in Seattle, though I did not know it at the time. It snowed nearly every day the week before Christmas, and commuting to the office was a bear. But the white Christmas was nice.

I was at Fred Meyer with my daughter in the weeks leading up to Christmas and she decided we needed an outdoor display, something besides the old fashioned lights I hung on the roof and around the front door and window.

While I was browsing in the store, she proceeded to rearrange the Christmas display items in the middle of a large aisle and informed me that I was to purchase a Christmas pig and some illuminated presents. What's a father to say? The photo here is an exact recreation of her Fred Meyer display.

The Christmas pig is back this year, but adorning another lawn in another state far, far away from the snows of Seattle, Washington.

Merry Christmas, everybody.

A Christmas Memory 2004

2009-12-23T19:36:00.000-08:00

This is one of my favorite photographs, taken during a Christmas snowfall in 2004. The kid in the tree strikes me as some strange winter bird.

We loved the snow in Seattle, and my daughter loved playing outside as the flakes fell while my wife made warn cocoa for our return indoors.

A Christmas Memory 2006

2009-12-21T18:55:00.000-08:00

In 2006 my daughter served as a Santa's helper and passed out the Christmas gifts that were under the tree. She wore an elf costume that has a history going back to 1973, when I wore the very same elf costume in a Christmas parade. I remember our mothers made these elf costumes from a pattern. My old buddy Chris was in the parade with me, similarly attired, and there are, somewhere, some Super-8 movies of the two of us in our elf costumes frolicking in his kitchen prior to the parade.

I am told that the day of that parade in 1973 was cold and sleeting, but I don't remember much about it. But that was my one shot at playing elf in a parade. And it was good.

It was great to see the old elf costume get some use after 33 years packed away with the holiday bric-a-brack. I am surprised it was still around. Perhaps it will last long enough to be worn some Christmas by my grandchild.

A Christmas Memory 2003

2009-12-20T12:26:00.000-08:00

Pictured: me, George and Alan Greenbeans.

We were all a little less gray.

We all had different residences then.

We were younger.

Our kids were smaller.

We were naive and carefree then. Well, maybe not carefree. That would have been 1983. Even then...

A Christmas Memory 2001

2009-12-18T09:17:00.000-08:00

My sister visited us in Seattle for Christmas 2001, a time marked by the sad departure of Toonces, the driving cat, whose hospitalization in the vet's ICU forced us to abandon our mountain cabin for an extended family gathering in our small apartment so that I could be near the suffering patient. But we had to let her go a few days before Christmas, and it was a sad time for me.

But having family in town was nice, and our daughter, not quite a year old, really racked up!

A day or two before Christmas my buddy Mike (Mixmaster DJ MC) dropped in with his daughter, who was about 20 months old at the time, and they are pictured here with my daughter (11 months) and my sister (age not disclosed).

A Christmas Memory 1999

2009-12-16T17:40:00.000-08:00

Another Christmas in the Emerald City: 1999 was a good year and a memorable Christmas. That year I received from my wife a Weber grill which I still use today. It was on the lanai Christmas morning, along with the appropriate grilling implements.

We developed a ritual of Christmas shopping down town each year, one we kept as long as we lived in Seattle. We would buy a few gifts at the Pike Place Market (pictured) each year, though we would often buy fresh seafood and produce at the market year round.

In 1999 we were two DINKs living in the city in the city without many responsibilities. A year later, my wife would be very pregnant with our first child, and after the baby arrived Christmastime changed, but not in a bad way. We transitioned well from celebrating Christmas as a couple to looking at the season through the eyes of a child. I would not change a thing, but I do recall those Christmases before our daughter was born with great fondness.

That was another life.

A Christmas Memory 1998

2009-12-15T17:39:00.000-08:00

1998 was my first Christmas as a married couple, living in Seattle. It was an exciting time for the both of us, newlyweds falling in love with the Emerald City.

That Christmas we spent in Seattle, without our families who lived far away. And it snowed that Christmas Day.

My parents had given us a DVD player for Christmas, which we opened on Christmas day. DVD's were new at the time, and I had three, and now we had a player to play them on.

The day after Christmas I proceeded to hook up the player and discovered that our TV, and old Magnavox, had only a coaxial input, and would not connect with the DVD player. I was devastated!

But it was the day after Christmas after all, and many stores were offering their after Christmas discounts. So I walked the four blocks to Fred Meyer and bought a new TV, but realized it was too big for me to carry home. (We lived in the city in those days).

I had to leave my ID with the store in order to borrow a hand truck to cart the TV home, and with great anticipation we unpacked it, giddy at the prospect of watching a movie on DVD.

But the TV, larger than our old Magnavox, did not fit into our entertainment center. It was too big!

Needless to say, we found ourselves purchasing and assembling a new entertainment center in order to have room for the new TV we bought in order to play a DVD on the new player we had received that Christmas in 1998. That player turned out to be the most costly Christmas present I have ever received.

A Christmas Memory 1997

2009-12-13T17:35:00.000-08:00

In 1997 I departed from my usual collection of tawdry Christmas ornaments, and allowed my friend Tim's wife (not pictured) to design my Christmas tree that year.

The theme was Independence Day, and the tree featured numerous red, white and blue ornaments with the occasional holiday-adorned Uncle Sam. The lights were, as one might assume, flashing red, white and blue, a virtual 4th of July fireworks display in my own home.

Needless to say, I have not used the 4th of July theme since, though I have contemplated an Easter theme over the years, which has not yet won approval from the wife.

Picturead are Tim and Madison, preparing to leave my apartment after a little holiday celebration among friends.

A Christmas Memory 1995

2009-12-09T17:32:00.000-08:00

Christmas is a special time for me. I enjoy the festive atmosphere, sending Christmas cards, the tree and candles and associated decorations that adorn my home at Christmastime.

During Christmas of 1995 I was living in Greenville, SC. As is my custom, I deck the halls, as much as I can.

Many of the ornaments I accumulated during my bachelor days are still on our Christmas tree today.

The Christmas tree pictured was christened "Leonard," in honor of my friend Chuck.

It occurs to me, incidentally, that the same sad angel atop the tree in this photograph rests atop my Christmas tree this year. She still cannot stand up straight.

Breakfast Brunch Bunch

2009-11-29T20:09:00.000-08:00

On Saturday, November 28, 2009, the annual gathering of the Brunch Bunch took place in South Carolina. Attendees gathered from all points and enjoyed a nice meal and fellowship with one another. There were even a few laughs, as evidenced here in this video documenting the occasion.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEVE JOHNSON!

2009-11-25T20:34:00.000-08:00

With the West Coast Chapter of the Steve Johnson Fan Club sadly gone the way of the dodo, I can only hope the renewed efforts to increase the East Coast Chapter membership will bear much fruit. We'll be recruiting new members on Friday. Wish us well.

In the mean time, enjoy this photo from the 2006 convention pool tournament, taken from the SJFC archives.

And of course, remember Steve on his birthday Sunday.

Adventures on Ebay

2009-11-17T19:53:00.000-08:00

I have found over the past several years that one can sell just about anything on eBay. It’s not a matter of having something someone else wants, though that helps. It’s all about salesmanship, creating demand for your listing to anyone who manages to come across it.

Early on in my eBay experience I was dismayed to find useful items of reasonable (or better) quality that I had listed on eBay end up with no bids after seven days at auction. It’s frustrating and dismaying, particularly in instances where the item was something I myself might have purchased. But I learned that how I listed the items owed much to the measure of my success.

I soon learned that any manner of junk or bric-a-brac could be sold on eBay if I was careful in how I listed the item. This realization dawned on me several years ago after cleaning out the garage and ending up with a box of items destined for Goodwill or eBay. I had organized several plastic bins of cords: power supply cords, telephone cords, RCA cables and all manner of SCSI, mini-DIN and USB computer and printer cables. At last there remained a tangled pile of various cords and cables that I could not assign a function to. They had perhaps come packaged with electronics and remained unneeded or unused or were for cell phones or PALM pilots I no longer owned.

As I was listing a number of items on eBay (children’s clothes, CD’s and books, and unused house wares), I began to giggle thinking about the tangle of mystery cables in my garage, and, if only to amuse myself, listed them as “My Grab-Bag Pile of Mystery Cables,” imploring someone to take them off my hands but warning prospective bidders, “You don’t know what you may get in my Grab-Bag Pile of Mystery Cables.”

I sold the tangle of mystery cables and received positive feedback.

A week ago I went through a similar exercise in the garage, a seven-year-long process of reducing the amount of junk so that I can actually use the two-car garage for two cars instead of one. (I should admit at this point that it was my wife who, after cleaning the garage while I was on a business trip three or four years ago, managed to squeeze both cars into the garage, a situation which lasted perhaps a week until we started a remodel project. We’ve not achieved two-car status since then). Among the miscellany in the discard box was a small toy that should have been merely thrown out: three-inch high ghost that would waddle a foot or two across the floor when wound up. Most likely it was something that came home in my child’s Trick-or-Treat bucket many years before, and it was now among the miscellany preventing my wife’s Jeep from spending its nights out of the weather.

Instead of throwing it out, I put it up on eBay.

I received three bids and I ship it out tomorrow.

A Cast Reunion

2009-11-15T13:41:00.001-08:00

Recently there was a cast reunion worth mentioning.

No, I am not writing about the Seinfeld reunion that is the subject of this season's "Curb Your Enthusiasm" on HBO.

Think more David O. Selzenick and less Larry David.

To honor the 70th anniversary of Gone With the Wind, surviving cast members gathered at a tribute event outside Atlanta recently. With Clark Gable and Vivian Leigh being off-planet, the cast reunion comprised actors who played children and babies and Beau Wilkes at various childhood ages in the classic 1939 film.

I don't suppose there was much reminiscing going on at this reunion. But for those surviving performers in attendance , it must be marvelous to know that each was a part of such a remarkable feat of cinematic grandeur the likes of which are long gone in American motion pictures.

I think I'll add Gone With the Wind to my Netflix queue. It's been a while for me, too.

Oh, and George is divorced and is trying to get back with this ex-wife, in case you were wondering.

Good Morning, Captain

2009-11-09T08:03:00.000-08:00

What's going on with Captain Crunch these days? Am I the only one who has noticed his transformation? Did he get a makeover? He looks more airbrushed, less...saltier.

There was a time when the good captain was truly a man of the sea, rugged and tough, a seadog who knew the stars and could navigate a sloop safely around the Cape of Good Hope with his eyes closed. And he could sniff out a ripe berry on a crunchberry vine from fifty paces and served up a cereal so crispy in milk that he was the envy of every galley on the seven seas. The look in his lined eyes bespoke a dignity becoming a seasoned seaman, and his smile was a knowing one, distinct and mature, suggesting a nobility that few of his peers (Sonny the Cuckoo Bird, the Trix Rabbit, Fred and Barney, to name a few) would ever come close to achieving.

Now he looks like an idiot. His eyebrows are on his hat. He sports a grin that suggests frenzied derangement and an ineptitude and incompetence so pervasive that I hesitate even opening the box. And what's with that salute? The old Captain Crunch would never stoop so low to hawk cereal using a proper naval salute. Sure, he'd salute in the presence of an admiral, or to return a salute from one of his trusted crew. But to him, a salute was a vital part of seafaring decorum that seems now lost upon him.

I understand he's been a Commodore since 2004. Whoever at Quaker is in charge of his publicity is doing a terrible job.

There really are only two conclusions one can draw from this most absurd transformation: either the Captain we all know and love is dead, and Quaker has replaced him with a poor imitation of the great man, or the Captain has gone truly insane.

I must contact the folks at Quaker, and eagerly await a reply.

Top: The Captain after his transformation; Botton: The good Captain as we remember him.

Halloween

2009-11-01T19:48:00.000-08:00

I'm not much for Halloween, not since I tried going to George's Halloween party in 1985 as a pumpkin head. That's a nasty costume, wearing a hollowed out pumpkin on your head. I had to regroup at the last moment and go as Caesar: a sheet, some ivy in the hair, good to go.

This year we had some fun trying on masks at the store, and attended a production of "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" in the outdoor theater down by the river. It was enjoyable. My daughter was pleased to meet the horseman after the show. When I did my imitation of the horseman, she corrected me and reminded me that without a head, he had no mouth and therefore could not speak. I stood corrected.

The true fright this Halloween was the Tennessee game. What a horror that was.

Now, on to Thanksgiving!

Visiting Paradise

2009-10-26T18:35:00.000-07:00

I recently returned from a trip to Guatemala which has provided me with a deeper perspective on my life and on the culture in which we live here in the United States.

Our hosts at Iglasia Shalom were wonderful people, and it was a pleasure to get to know a number of people during my visit to Guatemala City and Antigua.

In visiting a few families in the steep and hilly slum area of Guatemala City called Paradise (pictured), I was humbled to realize how blessed a person I am, and how much I have. Most of these families live a life with little hope for anything, and merely subsist in tiny concrete block and corrugated tin dwellings stacked precariously on top of one another.

Meeting many of the children was a joy. Despite living in poverty they are still children, and a smile, or a hug, goes a long way. I spent some time with my new friend, Christopher, who never knew his father and at some point lost his mother (I am not clear on the details). Although he spoke no English and I spoke no Spanish, we had a great time playing together, and sharing a meal together. We had a particularly terrific time making sculptures out of candy, each of us trying to outdo the other. Already I miss Christopher, and look forward to seeing him again someday.

On Monday we spent the day providing new shoes and socks for more than four hundred of these children. I spent the entire day washing filthy, sometimes sore-ridden feet. This, too, was a humbling experience, but the smiles on some of these kids provided me with priceless moments of joy, particularly when washing the feet of the ticklish ones.

Visiting Antigua was one of the highlights of the trip. An old Spanish town in a valley surrounded by smoldering volcanoes and high mountains on which coffee and avocados are grown, Antigua has been destroyed a number of times but still manages to thrive.

Did I mention the coffee? Mmmmm.... good coffee.

The Annotated Beach Photo

2009-10-11T14:31:00.000-07:00

In order to provide you with the most for your entertainment dollar, I include below an annotataed version of the beach photo I posted in my little-viewed post, "Indian Summer." In the annotated version of the photo, I reference a broken toe. I must, however, reliquish the Golden Digit Award for blogs about toes to my friend George, who, because of my last-minute trip to the coast, I failed to entertain. See more on George's toe here and here.

Indian Summer

2009-10-11T14:12:00.000-07:00

After a series of challenges in nailing down dates for an extended family trip to the coast this summer, we managed to schedule and then re-schedule a family weekend to the beach in October! After a few missteps we managed to get things together at the last moment as the trip meant much to our daughter, and we'd had to bag it back during Labor Day Weekend due to logistical concerns.

For me, the weekend was nice, relaxing, mindless. We enjoyed some good food, courtesy of Papa Jim (always game for a nice seafood dinner, where as Mom elected, as is her custom at fine seafood restaurants across this great nation, to order the chicken sandwich) and time for just...well, doing nothing. Which we all need, now and again.

I spent some extended time on the beach, during which I carefully applied SPF 30 to all exposed parts of my body except the bridge of my nose, a splotch on my forehead and a place on my cheek, all of which are rather red. There are two lines down my forearms which did not receive the sunscreen, and those places are bright red as well, given I spent a couple of hours holding my book up in order to block out the sun.

Saturday was 90 degrees, very warm and muggy, and frolicking in the surf was the order of the day. I managed to read the 1920 novel "The Mysterious Affair at Styles," by Agatha Christie, her first novel and the first appearance of her famed detective Hercule Poirot. (Incidentally, the final Poirot novel, "Curtain," is also set at Styles, an English estate, and narrated by the same character, Hastings. "Curtain" was published in 1975 but, interestingly enough, written during the 1930's).

Chores

2009-10-07T06:04:00.000-07:00

I don't know why she complains about taking out the garbage. It's a very easy job. I can think of few tasks which are simpler - bag the garbage, take it to the curb, bag the garbage and take it to the curb.

I guess some kids are lightweights and not cut out for work.

Although, in her defense, we do seem to produce a lot of trash.

In Support of Alan Grayson

2009-10-02T14:35:00.001-07:00

With his audacious remarks about the Republican health care bill calling for a quick death to all Americans who are diagnosed with a cold or a gall bladder infection, Democratic Florida Congressman Alan Grayson has proved several things that I don’t think come as a surprise to anyone:

• that the House Democrats and its leadership continue to demonstrate an unparallel level of hypocrisy;
• that the House democrats participate in as much hate-mongering as the Republicans;
• and that Grayson, like many of his colleagues on the left and the right, makes headlines telling lies.

It doesn’t matter that the Republicans don’t have a heath care bill up for debate, nor does it matter than this imaginary plan to which Grayson refers supports an American “Holocaust.” (Nice word, Mr. Grayson). But so what? Grayson has as much a right to his opinion as Representative Joe Wilson. And in this free country of ours, he is welcome to express it through whatever means are available to him. And in Grayson’s (and Wilson’s) case, those "means" are the floor of the House of Representatives.

And Rep. Grayson is welcome to lie, if so he chooses. That's fine with me. And in Grayson's case I use the word “lie” because I don’t think Grayson is demented enough to actually believe his own statements. But I could be wrong.

Yes, Rep. Grayson's words are incendiary, far more incendiary than Wilson’s. And perhaps they are stupid, poorly chosen and uncalled-for. But that’s what we get in a country with a constitutional protection of speech. It’s up to each of us to determine whether or not Grayson is an insightful political genius or an utter boob. The media can give this idiot airplay, or ignore this savvy orator all together. Regardless, Grayson has a position, an opinion, and has as much right to express that as anyone. If there are consequences, so be it. That’s something else we take on in a free society—the ability to speak our minds and the responsibility to accept any consequences our words may have.

In light of his comments I am left wondering whether the Republicans will respond to Grayson in the manner in which Democrats responded to Wilson. Will the Republicans work as hard as Democrats to stifle and suppress free speech? Will the right go on and on demanding pointless, meaningless apologies while the work of the people is placed on a back burner? Will the Republicans resort to the sort of ad hominem arguments the democrats got elected on, while the important issues linger on without proactive analysis and debate?

I don’t doubt it for a moment.

My Toaster

2009-09-25T07:12:00.000-07:00

This is my toaster. I have had it for eleven years. I share it with my wife and child. It was a gift from my friend Jelly, and his wife, Mrs. Jelly. Thank you!

We make toast on it. It can make two slices of toast at once. It is very versatile. Bread goes in, hot toast comes out. It is not very hard to use.

Once the toast pops out, we apply butter. Also, other toppings may be used.

The toast pops out on its own, when it is ready. There is no need to do anything. If you make it pop out yourself, the toast will fly out of the toaster and (hopefully) land on your plate. Aim is important.

Sometimes it may land on the floor. If so, I am not worried: the dog is right there.

In England, some toasters can pick up BBC-1. This is not the case in America. I have tried to tune in NPR on my toaster on a number of occasions, but the best I could do was an AM urban adult contemporary station broadcasting out of Biloxi.

I practice safety whenever I use my toaster. I am OSHA certified. Here are a few toaster safety tips, in case you are planning on getting a toaster of your own:

• Never put a toaster in a dishwasher. It will leave your toast damp and colorless.
• Never use a toaster in the shower, for the same reason. Having your coffee maker in the shower with you every morning requires multi-tasking enough without having to worry about getting shampoo in your raspberry jam.
• Never stick a fork or knife into a working toaster for any reason, unless you are attempting to loosen a bagel that is stuck and beginning to smolder.
• Never dry socks or underwear in a pop-up toaster. A microwave oven works best for this particular application.
• If making cheese toast, use an oven, as the cheese tends to melt in a pop-up toaster and will gum up the works. Also, it makes your kitchen smell really rank for about three days.
• If your toaster cord is worn or frayed, or if the copper conductors are exposed, wrap the exposed area with a wet nap and tie securely in place. This will provide you with years of continued enjoyment of your toaster.

I like to keep my toaster clean and shiny. A little Windex does the trick, but Formula 409 works in a pinch. Avoid the use of harsh abrasives, as they may have a tendency of give you hives.

My toaster has many exciting settings from which to choose: ultra-light, light, medium-light, tan, dun, medium, dark, dark and crispy, extra-dark, black-and-crunchy and slightly singed.

In addition to the many exciting settings available on my toaster, its versatility as a small kitchen appliance is second to none. I have put the following in my toaster: white bread, bagels, pop-tarts, apple slices, croissant, sourdough, coffee crumb cake, brioche, cottage loaf, chicken fingers, scones, biscuit halves, naan, toaster strudel, oatmeal raison cookies, matzo, baklava, bologna (sliced), tortilla, Burmese kippers, chapatti, pecan-maple Danish, bear claw and lemon pie.

What makes the best toast? White bread (make it Wonder Bread, please!), multi-grain and Roman Meal.

What makes the worst toast? Barbari bread, olive loaf and sliced Tapir runt bread.

I enjoy my toaster, and recommend pop-up toasters to all of my readers. If you don’t have one, many community banks will provide you one free of charge with an initial deposit of only $100.

A Blast from the Past - 1995

2009-09-23T02:01:00.000-07:00

My old high school bud and former roomie returns from Japan with his lovely wife in tow.

He and I corresponded during his four years in the Air Force, and I treasure one particular letter he wrote me from boot camp while sitting in the latrine after "lights out."

He was, of course, caught by his sergeant, and was duly punished.

Looks Like It's Eggplant for Dinner Tonight

2009-09-15T12:31:00.000-07:00

This afternoon we gathered a few things from the garden. Here is a picture of what we gathered today.

There are sunflowers in the garden, and they seem to attract lots of little flying bugs. I like the look of sunflowers from a distance, but up close I think they are nasty.

The leaves on the pepper plants are wilting. Not surprising, of course, as I rarely water the garden. We have not gotten enough rain to keep the garden healthy, yet I have an expectation that the vegetables will be bountiful and will keep coming until the first frost lights upon the trees.

At least the tomatoes are delicious. There is nothing better than a fully ripe tomato, vine picked and served and consumed that same day.

Now to scrape up a recipe for eggplant Parmesan.

Pacific Grits is Enjoying the 2009 Jerry Lewis Labor Day Telethon

2009-09-06T20:59:00.000-07:00

Since 1952 Jerry Lewis has served as chairman of the Muscular Dystrophy Association, and again this year, at 83, he is back as host of the Jerry Lewis MDA Labor Day Telethon.

The years are catching up with Jerry Lewis. He is suffering from pulmonary fibrosis, a fatal lung disease, and his movie career is behind him. But he presses on, and it's great to see him yet again raising money to fight neuro-muscular diseases.

I always enjoy watching the telethon, and have fond memories of watching it during the 1970's when the likes of Frank Sinatra or Sammy Davis, Jr. would drop by. In latter years Jerry's MDA co-host has been America's favorite second banana, Ed McMahon, who died in June.

In opening this year's telethon, Lewis spoke fondly of McMahon, recalling McMahon's professionalism, generosity and compassion.

In a reflective moment Lewis added, “But I sure as hell hope that wherever he is, he’s got his booze.”

Steel Married After All of These Years

2009-09-05T11:21:00.000-07:00

It is our wedding anniversary today – the “steel” anniversary, number 11. As I have always chosen anniversary gifts based on tradition, I had been hoping for a break this year, still reeling after last year’s “tin” anniversary. But I think I managed tin (ten) all right, when it occurred to me that I could get away with putting a real gift (jewelry) into an antique tea tin.

This year I blew it. I bought my wife a Jeep just before discovering that the 11th anniversary gift was steel. I bought a lot of steel just last month, and upon consultation with people who know such things, one cannot retroactively re-give a given gift.

So the Jeep is out as a wedding gift, and I don’t know where to buy girders. Perhaps someone out there has a bridge for sale.

In the News - More from Japan

2009-09-03T05:54:00.000-07:00

Incoming Japanese first lady Yukio Hatoyama has come forward with the startling revelation that she and American actor Tom Cruise are longtime friends—from a past life.

"I was with him then,” she reported, referring to his past incarnation as a Japanese man. “So he would recognize me when I see him and say 'long time, no see!'"

She claimed that she and Cruise, after they are reunited, will star in a film together. “This film will change your values,” she boasted. “I will win the Oscar for sure.”

She did not comment on whether she had confused a "past life" with a screening of The Last Samurai.

Also, no comment from Cruise, who, as a Scientologist, may have traveled to the planet Venus on a triangular UFO while he slept.

In the News

2009-09-03T05:51:00.000-07:00

Yukio Hatoyama, the incoming first lady of Japan, reported that she traveled to the planet Venus in a triangular UFO while she slept.

The incident is chronicled in her book, Very Strange Things I’ve Encountered.

Failing to mention the crater-mottled volcanic plains, clouds of sulfur dioxide and a poisonous carbon dioxide atmosphere with a surface pressure 92 times that of Earth, she described Venus as “a very beautiful place and very green.” Venusian surface temperatures of over 850 °F apparently failed to affect her pale complexion.

Disney Buys Marvel

2009-09-01T20:41:00.000-07:00

I guess it's no surprise that Disney is snatching up the Marvel universe for a cool $4 billion. But do we really need to get Donald Duck and Howard the Duck together? That spells trouble as far as I am concerned. (Though seeing Namor the Sub-Mariner romance Ariel might be intriguing.)

And what does this mean for Disneyland? Some lame Hulk-themed ride through a dark tunnel?

I have to say I have a soft spot for Marvel comics. I started reading the Fantastic Four in the late 70's, and who doesn't love Spider-Man? Perhaps they'll make a good fit for Disney. Pixar, the animation studio, was a smart acquisition on Disney's part, mainly because over the past few years the family fare released under the Disney banner has been pretty lame.

This is a sad comment: the best Walt Disney movie in the past couple of years has been Hannah Montana.

What might they do for Spider-Man 4?

Belated Travel Log - Day Nine

2009-07-29T15:31:00.000-07:00

Eufaula, Alabama, is one of those charming little southern towns with great antebellum homes and charming shops and restaurants. We breakfasted at the Country Kitchen and Cakery, which had been, in days gone by, the stables for the adjoining hotel, which is currently being restored to its original Southern glory with a grant from someone. At any rate, they prepared my eggs the way I like them, one scrambled, one over easy. And the biscuits and sawmill gravy were fantastic. We had to ask for more, though later on we regretted that last biscuit. We were stuffed.

From Eufaula it was on to Atlanta, home of the Braves and Coca-Cola, and the end of our time together. My traveling companion, mixmaster DJ MC went on to a Microsoft event there, and I headed east, into an uncertain future.

Belated Travel Log - Day Eight

2009-07-29T15:00:00.000-07:00

Did I mention that somewhere in Alabama, at a place called the Santa Fe, we saw the biggest ceiling fan we had ever seen? It was like something out of Texas. My part time driver, mixmaster DJ MC, now releived of his duties following the unspeakable confrontation with the Texas Highway Patrol, said of the Santa Fe, "Tonight we eat like kings." And we did. It was affordable and delicious. And the service was supurb. We drove from the Santa Fe (wherever it was) through some Alabama backroads. Beautiful state, truly. We arrived in Eufaula, Alabama for a night of rest and relaxation a couple of hours later.

Belated Travel Log - Where Not To Stay in Texas

2009-07-29T13:40:00.000-07:00

I cannot recommend the Pest Westeri Hotel off of I-10 in Texas. It is a sleazy place run by cattle theives. Please avoid this place at all costs. They have cockroaches there the size of cattle dogs, and the armadillo crawling around the room are armed and very aggressive.

The Texas Highway Patrol in this same area are also armed and rather unsympathetic to out-of-state travelers. They are hung up about some crazy "nighttime only" speed limits. This concept is insane. These troopers have Texas-sized citation booklets and use terms like "negative" when you try and have a friendly conversation. You have been warned.

Photo at left: either an agressive armadillo or a Texas state trooper. Maybe both.

Belated Travel Log - New Orleans Note

2009-07-28T15:23:00.000-07:00

It was nice to find Ignatius J. Reilly immoralized in bronze in the Big Easy. For those that know and love him, this may have meaning. Jolly Tyler, this means you. Everyone else may disregard this post.

Belated Travel Log - Day Seven and Eight

2009-07-28T15:00:00.000-07:00

New Orleans proved to be a nice resting spot on the journey from Pacific to Atlantic, particularly after driving across the state of Texas. That state is a bear of a drive. I don't care what people say about driving across Montana. I've driven Montanta. Piece of cake. Texas, that's a man's drive. And my part time driver, mixmaster DJ MC, has the citation from the Texas Highway Patrol to prove it.

The Big Easy provided us with exceptional accommodations at the Astor Hotel, as well as great cajun food and drink. Gumbo at the Gumbo Shop. Hurricanes at Pat O'Brien's. Beignets and chicory coffee and Cafe Du Monde. Mmmmm. Oh, did I mention Aunt Sally's pralines? I bought a box for my daughter. And one or two for me. Sublime.

We also took in a bit of history, considering that Andrew "Action" Jackson whipped some British tail there back in 1814.

Belated Travel Log - Day Six

2009-07-28T14:24:00.000-07:00

San Antonio was another bright spot along the journey. I was surprised at how much I liked the city, or at least the parts of it that I saw. The Riverwalk was really amazing, and seeing the Alamo, now a shrine, was moving. I was always fond of the 1960 John Wayne (also the director!) film, with Richard Widmark, about the battle of the Alamo. There were only a handul of survivors, women and children. General Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna gave them blankets and pesos and sent them away, encouraging them to warn all to remember what happened there that perilous day. I learned that the battle cry "Remember the Alamo" was taken quite seriously by General Sam Houston, who proceeded to engage and subsequently defeat Santa Anna's formidable army in only 18 minutes.

Near the Alamo is the lovely Hotel Menger, inside of which is a very nice bar which was constructed to emulate the bar in the House of Lords in England. I put my finger in two bullet holes in the bar that were made by Teddy Roosevelt, who recruited many of his famous "Rough Riders" there.

Belated Travel Log - Day Five

2009-07-27T14:13:00.000-07:00

Outside of El Paso my traveling companion, mixmaster DJ MC, and I detoured off I-10 and drove through a little border town a stone's throw from Mexico seeking sustenance. The place was very poor; ramshackle buildings and long-closed businesses lined the main street. We found the only open restaurant, Taco Tina's, and consumed some tasty tacos. There was no indoor dining, only a small table outside. The food was good, but the heat and the swarms of flies sullied our dining experience.

In the photo below, the young waiter fills our lemonade cups next to Taco Tina's one table.

Belated Travel Log - Day Four

2009-07-27T13:56:00.000-07:00

California was nice and sunny for the most part, and one of the highlights of the trip. (The miserable traffic through L.A. being the exception, but is anyone surprised?) Early in day four, we enjoyed a nice breakfast in Solvang (first photo), an odd little Danish town, before spending some time in Santa Barbara, where we had trouble distinguishing the mission there for a mere church.

In the second photo I am driving through Santa Barbara enjoying the scenery and the mild climate. Things became a bit hotter once we rolled into Palm Springs (bottom photo). But in the desert east of Palm Desert the heat was oppressive. Even the wind was as if it was emanating from a roaster. It must have been 115 out there.

Belated Travel Log - Day Two

2009-07-27T13:40:00.000-07:00

Only at the end of a cross country journey do I take the time to share a few tidbits to the three people who read my blog.

On day two I traveled with my companion, mixmaster DJ MC, south on the Oregon coast on Highway 101 then on to the California Bay Area along the Pacific Coast Highway.

Left: the Oregon coast

Below: sunset over the Pacific Ocean, an hour or so north of San Rafael in Marin County, California.

Christmas in July

2009-07-05T00:17:00.001-07:00

The Disney Christmas train is in Seattle for a few days during its nationwide tour of the U.S., and we went down for a while this morning to see it. The primary purpose of this whistle stop tour is to promote the upcoming Robert Zemickis film A Christmas Carol, which stars Jim Carrey as Scrooge and all the ghosts, Gary Oldman as Bob Crachit, Jacob Marley and Tiny Tim, Robin Wright Penn, Colin Firth, Cary Elwes and Bob Hoskins.

Aside from the fascinating exhibits on the motion capture technology used to produce the film, there were period costumes, exhibits about the story and its characters, and a number of items on loan from the Dickens museum in London. I was most interested in these, which included first editions of Dickens' works, handwritten manuscripts and Dickens' own quill and inkwell.

More than just an animated film, director Zemickis (Back to the Future, Forrest Gump) used digital motion capture technology to record the actors' movements and facial expressions, enabling him to place the actors, in all three dimensions, into computer generated sets in order to render the scenes from the film. On the train were a number of the miniature "sets" animators used to create the world of Scrooge as it existed in the mid-nineteenth century, all of which I found fascinating. There was also a small theater set up outside the train station where we were able to screen about ten minutes of scenes from the film in 3D.

Seeing the Christmas Carol train turned out to be a nice little break from the heat and the drudgery of packing the house. It's a clever marketing tool (leave it to Disney), an educational tool for those interested in film production, and a nice exhibit of historical artifacts from one of our most revered authors.

Happy Independence Day from Pacific Grits!

2009-07-04T01:52:00.001-07:00

Summertime in Seattle

2009-07-03T23:43:00.000-07:00

There are few things in my life that I enjoy as much as those warm, clear summer days in Seattle when the sky is blue, the rainy season is forgotten and, as the locals say, "the mountain is out."

Today was such a day, and I had the pleasure of spending the afternoon with my daughter. We took one of our outings to the Space Needle, a place my daughter has long enjoyed, a place the two of us steal off to on those rare times when just the two of us feel like getting out of the house and driving the short distance from our suburban home into the city.

It was the grownups who finished off this glorious day, enjoying a fine meal with Mike and Amy at the Cafe Septieme in Seattle's Capital Hill neighborhood. It was at this same cafe that the four of us dined on my wife's very first day in Seattle eleven short years ago.

Good times.

The Cherries are In!

2009-07-02T11:54:00.000-07:00

I look forward to this time each year when our cherry crop comes in. It always happens the week of July 4th, and this year our cherry crop was a good one.

This means the wife whips up a delicious cherry cobbler or two, a dish she has become an expert at preparing.

My daughter was insistent that this year she be allowed up on the ladder while we gather cherries. She prefers it to her long-held job of standing at the base of the ladder with the bowl as I, risking life and limb by standing foolishly on the very top step of the ladder, attempt to reach the highest branches on the tree.

And did I mention the cobbler? Delicious!

Serving Our Country

2009-06-27T15:39:00.000-07:00

Last week I attended a change of command ceremony for the 8th Airlift Squadron at the invitation of my good friend Steve, at the Air Force base here. (I hope he doesn’t mind me posting this.)

For a civilian it was an honor to receive an invitation to attend, and very cool to mingle with Steve and his family and the other squadron members and base officers at a reception aboard a C-17. (How those behemoths can get off the ground in the first place is beyond me, but I digress.)

The ceremony itself was memorable, and Steve’s eloquent speech to the squadron and its guests nearly moved me to tears. It’s great seeing old friends achieve success in their chosen fields, and as far as Steve is concerned, June 18 was no exception. He’s a fine officer and an even finer friend.

My best to you, old buddy, as you take on new challenges. The work you do for our country and for me, as an American, is so often underappreciated. But without you and the others serving our country in uniform, the United States would not be the remarkable place that it is.

June 18 was a day that I was not only proud to be an American, but ever so proud to be a friend of one who has made countless sacrifices to serve our great country.

A Blast from the Past - 1994

2009-06-13T02:22:00.000-07:00

Todd and his floozy somewhere in North Charleson, SC.

Welcome Summer

2009-06-08T01:31:00.000-07:00

The days are getting longer, and my summer is off to a great beginning. Here's what's been going on:

I am sitting up watching some great old movies on TCM: Mildred Pierce with Joan Crawford and Casablanca, a movie I never tire of. This, after taking in a pair of movies at the Seattle Film Festival this morning.

I've been blogging about a few of the many films I have seen thus far at SIFF here.

Recently, on a trip to the Pike Place Market, we visited the famous Shoe Museum. They have some very large shoes there.

Soccer season wrapped up. I am going to miss the Saturday games.

I chaperoned my daughter's field trip to the zoo last week. Chaperoning second graders on a field trip can be very exhausting.

My daughter asked me to shave for the field trip, but the morning got away from us. I have not shaved since May 22.

I have been watching the old Bob Newhart Show on DVD, with Suzanne Pleshette. What a great show.

I found eleven blog posts saved that I never uploaded. They include two bits about being a frequent flyer (which I haven't been in more than a year), a piece from March 14th about looking for spring which included a photo during my commute with four inches of snow on the hood of my car, and a few blasts from the past. Perhaps I'll post a few of these soon.

We sold our house. The challenge now is finding somewhere to go.

Saved on Easter Sunday (15%)

2009-04-12T08:58:00.000-07:00

Easter morning! Happy Easter, everyone!

My first greeting on this holy day came via email, from a Mr. J.C. Penney. "Happy Easter!" the email exclaimed.

Then I was reminded to take 15% off on my purchases today.

As Charlie Brown might say, "Good grief!"

Soon we'll be pressured to exchange Easter gifts. Is nothing sacred anymore?

Mac and Cheese

2009-04-12T01:35:00.000-07:00

What kid does not like macaroni and cheese? But it's one of those things I usually don't allow my daughter to order from the kid's menu at restaurants. "You need to order something healthy," I tell her.

Unless of course we are at Beecher's, a cheese shop at the Seattle Market that sells, well, cheese. We stopped in recently where I picked up a half pound of their smooth Havarti for snacking. Their cream cheese is heavenly on a toasted bagel, but it's expensive and I don't eat bagels very often.

Beecher's is known, however, for their signature white cheddar, which is sharp and very flavorful.

Aside from selling cheese, they do offer one hot item: macaroni and cheese, made with their signature cheddar. It is heavy, filling and delicious, and marks one of only two mac and cheese dishes in Seattle I would consider a meal.

The other is served at the 13 Coins, and only on Mondays. That steaming bowl of cheesy pasta is cooked with Bacon, which adds a hearty element to simple pasta and cheese that I have yet to taste anywhere else.

My Little TV

2009-03-22T02:02:00.000-07:00

I have a little TV. It dates back to my bachelor days, and for years now it has been in the bedroom. When we got DirecTV and the Bose Lifestyle system a couple of years ago I did not bother to put the satellite TV in the bedroom. I just hooked up the old VCR/DVD combo to the little TV and that was that.

The one problem with the little TV is that the power button somehow fell into the TV case, and you could only turn the TV on or off with the remote. I did manage, on occasion, to reach my pinky finger into the hole that occupied the space where the power button had been and find it inside the TV case and could operate the power switch that way, but it was difficult and hurt my finger.

(I will add here that my wife suspects the TV power button was broken some seven or so years ago by the fat super that used to work in our building, back when we lived in the city. She alleges that the fat super would come into our apartment and hang out and watch TV. No proof, however, ever materialized, save for his suspicious nature and his fat suspicious fingers.)

A few months ago I bought a new VCR/DVD recorder combo and a flat screen for the bedroom and the little TV was delegated to the garage with all the other stuff we no longer use.

Which brings me to today.

I decided to get rid of the TV (maybe ten bucks on Craig's List?) and so set about to repair the power button. I took the back off the TV and was surprised at the sheer amount of wires, circuit boards and other plastic doo-dads surrounding the picture tube on the inside of the little TV. I managed to fish out the power button from inside the casing but the space was too tight for me to adequately place it where it was supposed to go, so I went about removing the big circuit board.

With each bit of progress I made in guiding the errant power button back into its proper position, some wire would pop off, or one of the little doo-dads would roll out of the TV and onto the floor.

By the time I had the power button back in place, I had to figure out where all of the wires and doo-dads went, and set about restoring the guts of the little TV.

When the casing was screwed back into place I tested out the power button. Click. Click. As good as new. I was pleased with my resourcefulness and fancied myself something of a technical Mr. Fixit.

Plugging the TV in to test out my handiwork I found that, although the power button was back in its hole for the first time in nearly a decade, and went click click like it was supposed to, nothing else -- and I mean nothing else -- worked at all! No sound. No picture. No hum when the little TV was plugged in and the power button pressed. Not even the remote managed to turn the cursed thing on.

Now my little TV is dead, but far from gone. I will have to find a place to recycle it. It has become a burden now, sitting atop the dog's crate in the garage an eyesore and constant reminder of my inability to repair much of anything.

Oh, what I would have given for the talents of the fat super just one more time.

Where in the World?

2009-03-14T21:44:00.000-07:00

This 16-foot tall brass rendering is the only statue of Vladimir Lenin ever created depicting him as a revolutionary. Other monuments to Lenin portray him as a statesman. His figure here is augmented by a stack of rifles and flames.

Does your dog have a license?

2009-03-01T10:51:00.000-08:00

I saw a notice that came in the mail reminding us to renew our dog’s license. What is the purpose of the pet license? I can understand having a license to operate a motor vehicle, or to practice medicine. The state has a responsibility to ensure that those extended the priviledge of driving a car or stitching up patients more or less understand what it is that they are doing and are held to account by the government.

But a license to exist as a pet? After all, I noticed that the license is in the dog’s name, and not ours. The license is hers. She carries it around with her everywhere she goes. I do the same thing with my drivers license.

I suppose it’s a good thing to have a registry of pets centrally located in the event one’s pet turns up lost and finds its way into the pound. That’s worth paying for.

Could it possibly be that a dog license in the county is nothing but a …. TAX? A tax on pets? I can only imagine the first guy to think up taxing our pets driving around thinking, there must be thousands of dogs in this town. Hmmm.

Seasoned Traveler

2009-02-22T00:50:00.000-08:00

My daughter is such a seasoned traveler that I can forget she's a child.

We've taken many trips together across the country, and she's logged a couple hundred thousand air miles before age eight, an age at which I had never even flown. We were on the road (and in the air) again together last week.

While browsing magazines in the C Terminal at the Atlanta airport she says, "No time for that Dad. We've got to pop down to A terminal for some takeout before hopping the 57 at B-31. We board in twenty minutes and we've got a sweet zone number. Flight's overbooked so we can't take chances. Let's get moving!"

This while she was purchasing a novelization of the movie Igor with her debit card, which was declined.

Sleeping In

2009-02-07T22:28:00.000-08:00

I slept in this morning for the first time in…I honestly don't recall. I awoke naturally, at 10 am, refreshed, my mind and body having slept without the daily interruption of the cursed alarm clock. My wife was hours gone, off to class, and I bolted out of bed to discover that my daughter, who has been know to rise at 5:30 in the morning on weekdays in order to watch cartoons on BOOM, was fast asleep.

She lumbered downstairs about an hour later, giving me time to enjoy a couple of cups of coffee.

We enjoyed a nice day of it: brunch, errands to the bank, the cleaners, the pharmacy, Starbucks.

I need to figure out a way to continue the run, waking naturally and rising not when my alarm clock tells me to, but when my body does.

Open Wide. No, Wider.

2009-01-28T21:33:00.000-08:00

I was taken by surprise today, not having realized I had a dental appointment.

I don't like dental appointments, and this was a new dentist.

At least it was quick.

It was odd that she wore little plastic baggie things on her hands, and not the usual rubber gloves. But whatever.

She examined my teeth and told me I had four fillings and one crooked tooth.

Then my teeth were cleaned. I hate the whine of that electric tooth cleaner, but the toothpaste was minty and fresh.

I spit in a receptacle that resembled a cowboy boot.

The dentist then stuffed cotton balls, coated with a minty blue substance, into my mouth and I lay there for a while before they were removed. Water was then poured into my mouth from a canteen and I was forced to get out of the chair and spit into a sink located in another room.

At that point it was all over, and I was given a piece of paper with a follow-up appointment that read:

Clean? YES
Next Appointment: Friday Jan 30 $7:30

And it was signed.

Those Meddling Kids

2009-01-18T12:09:00.000-08:00

I saw their van parked in a lot downtown, and could only wonder what ghoulish mystery was afoot in our rainy city.

My daughter asked me if they had their dog with them, but I replied I only saw their van.

(On a related note, I heard Scrappy had mange and died. I do hope that is true.)

In answer to George's Question

2009-01-18T00:29:00.000-08:00

Yes, as a matter of fact, she does wear trenchcoats and fedoras.

Like Father Like Daughter

2009-01-15T22:43:00.000-08:00

I read in the paper the other day that Seattle is no longer the most caffeinated city in America. Tampa, Florida, takes first place. Yet Seattle remains the coffee capital of the world. Tampa takes the top caffeine award due to the consumption of massive quantities of iced tea, chocolate and energy drinks.

Make mine a double tall non-fat hazelnut latte.

My daughter will take a house drip with cream and sugar. This kid is a grumpus in the morning until she has her coffee.

Just like her Dad.

No Late Fees?

2009-01-11T13:59:00.000-08:00

It's embarrassing how few movies I have watched at home during the latter part of 2008. A few weeks ago it occurred to me that the three movies that had arrived from Netflix in back in May were still floating around the house.

Lars and the Real Girl was unwatched. I did manage to view the first half hour or so of Felini's 8 1/2, but the wife would have nothing to do with it so I turned it off. The same went for Truffaut's Day for Night -- I caught but the first part of the movie and that was it.

All three movies arrived about the time the Seattle Film Festival was starting, and I had shelved them for viewing later on. During the festival I would see two, three or four movies a day, and the last thing I wanted to do when I got home is watch a movie on DVD.

So right before New Year's, some seven months after they had arrived, I collected my rented DVDs and dropped them in the mail. Three DVD's, seven months late, and no late fees.

While I am on the subject of late fees, I know someone who has three items checked out of the Lexington County Public Library which are stamped due (yes, stamped) November 16, 1978.

Can anyone venture an estimate on what my, er, my friend's late fees would be were he to return the books on February 1 of this year?

A Blast from the Past - 1986

2009-01-01T07:07:00.000-08:00

Twenty-two years ago, the school pictured in the background was never "ugly" in my mind. By today's standards, however....

The two nameless persons pictured left were accused of hijacking their senior yearbook. Hogwash. They merely stepped up to the plate and provided the lion's share of the content. The photo at left is one of many pictures of themselves that never made it into the final edition.

Photo by Malcolm, taken for the high school yearbook, from my personal files.

List Mania!

2008-12-27T04:44:00.000-08:00

I saw this list on Mot’s blog and it got me thinking… so here goes:

8 TV Shows I Watch

Wow - this is a hard one, as I don’t follow any regular TV show. But here goes:

The Rockford Files (on DVD -- thanks, Dad and Mimi)
The News
America’s Funniest Home Videos (I can't help it, I love that Tom Bergeron!)
Boston Legal (only once this season, but it was the finale and Spader and Shatner were brilliant!)
The American Kennel Club Dog Show Best in Show show, or whatever it's called, starring J. Peterman, every year after the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade (including this year, and we had to return to our hotel room at the Marquis in Times Square after attending the parade in person to see it, perhaps to the chagrin of my wife)
The occasional program I’ll stop at when clicking around (this could be anything, but usually it's something on History, Bio, or Discovery (William Shatner's Raw Nerve is a good one)
Movies on MGMHD, UniversalHD, et al.
The occasional 60’s or 70’s sitcom on TV Land when I find it (Andy Griffith a favorite)

I think that’s it for regular viewing - I‘ll add a new category:

More Shows I Wished I Watched

Pushing Daisies (saw it twice when it premiered, thought it clever… is it still on?)
24 (saw it twice, both times at my sister’s house two or three years apart, including the two-hour TV movie last Thanksgiving week. And I loved it. What a great show -- tight writing, crisp direction…I could actually watch this if I want to give in to the TV demons)

8 Favorite Restaurants

El Gaucho (best room in Seattle)
Carmine’s (New York)
The Metropolitan Grill (oh my, is the porterhouse to die for)
Salty’s (named for a bald eagle that once nested outside the restaurant)
Lizard’s Thicket (when visiting South Carolina this is a MUST STOP, as there are no options for a “meat and three” in the Northwest)
Hyman’s (a regular stop when in Charleston, SC)
Duke’s (best chowder in town, though I have yet to run into Marty Crane)
Morton’s (Washington D.C., Chicago, Seattle: my first trip to Morton’s Seattle with my friend Ritter was last week, and we split a 24 oz. porter house, carved at our table -- the fillet side of the porterhouse was like cutting into a stick of butter. It was rich and succulent and spectacular!)

8 Things that Happened Today/Yesterday

Snow has turned to rain, and I am thankful
Christmas Day -- family, a great meal thanks to my wife, a happy child
NOTHING happened at work today, which is a happening unto itself
Saw some pictures of my new nephew, Boo
Received some love from my grandmother over the phone
My daughter hugged me and told me she loved me
Received Swedish meatballs (I could not find lunch as everything within a block of the office was closed except McDonald's and I passed on that, and I did not want to walk more than a block in the rain. When I returned to the office to report my failure, Cathy gave me a frozen Lean Cuisine, bless her!)
Received Christmas cards from Lori and Mike, Lorri and Dan, Uncle Ron and Aunt Cindy.

8 things I look forward to

The new year with great and exciting changes!
A flick with my friend Mike, who has been away for some weeks now caring for an ailing father
The Obama effect -- change for the better in unemployment, taxes, property values, Iraq, and a substantial rise in my positions in my brokerage account
A new bathroom upstairs
My daughter’s birthday
Snowmobiling next weekend -- Matt’s tuned up my sled and it’s time to break out the gear!
A family trip to British Columbia (my daughter now has her passport!)
Reading my wife’s novel

8 Things I Wish/Pray For

A full recovery for Mike’s dad
That my daughter is safe and happy
My grandmother, who has moved to a new assisted living home
The health and happiness of my new nephew, Boo
Comfort for the family of a coworker whose Dad passed away on Christmas Day
My families in South Carolina and Denver
Comfort for the poor and struggling
I hope my homeless friend, Pardion, is able to publish his book

Snow Sunday

2008-12-21T10:00:00.000-08:00

Several times my friend Dan and I have attended the last regular season Seahawks home game together. Today's game is extra special, as it not only brings Favre and the Jets to town but it is coach Holmgren's final home game in Seattle.

But not this game. Not today. We'll let our seats catch snowflakes.

I'm not planning on spending too much time away from the house today.

Last night, during the storm, my daughter's Christmas yard swine blew over and was completely covered by new snowfall. The only indication that it is there is an eerie pink glow emanating from the blanket of white snow.

I only hope the Ritters made it back to Ritterhaus last night through the swirling snow and wind.

Christmastime

2008-12-13T02:30:00.000-08:00

For the past several years my daughter has sought a yard display of some sort for the holidays. She had previously expressed interest in littering the lawn with tombstones for Halloween, an idea which I quickly vetoed. A Christmas display was more palatable, I told her, and she did not forget what she took from me back in October to be a promise.

Last weekend while we were shopping she took the liberty of creating an arrangement in the store aisle with the outdoor Christmas display items and announced that this would be our yard display. "I have cash, you have cash, together we'll get this stuff. I'll pay six dollars." She handed me two fives and asked for four ones back. "You pay the rest," she instructed.

When the goods were rung up at the register I had a Dave Ramsey moment but swallowed it for the sake of a child's Christmas.

My wife inquired as to what was in the boxes in the back of the rig.

"Yard displays."

I pointed out that our daughter did not elect for a traditional display, nor for a sacred one. "She wanted a pig," I said. "A Christmas pig."

Oink!

A Briefing about November

2008-12-13T00:51:00.000-08:00

November was such a busy month that when I blinked it was gone.

Mike and I enjoyed our annual film festival, something I look forward to almost as much as Seattle's International Film Festival. (Though this year due to time constraints and my travel schedule the events were somewhat abbreviated.)

But it was a good month, filled with adventures and some
good times, and remains an appropriate introduction to this present holiday season.

A trip to New York for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade was memorable for many reasons: the restaurants, shows, comfortable accommodations and the parade itself.

Our daughter stayed with family while we were away, and I am told that a highlight of her time with relatives was a sleepover at her cousin Lindsay's.

And speaking of our daughter: following an exchange of letters and photographs, she made a date with an old friend, Darian, and the two (chaperoned by the kids' dads) decided to meet at the Woodland Park Zoo. The kids had a ball, and the dads spent their time running after the two lunatics.

We finished off November and the first day of December back in South Carolina for a few days with family before returning to the Pacific Northwest.

And now with December well under way, and the holidays upon us, we hope to create more memories.

2008-12-06T14:53:00.000-08:00

We took my daughter to her first symphonic concert on Friday night. She was resistant at first, recalling our disastrous outing to see the Transiberian Orchestra a few years back. But she said she was willing to try it. The evening also served as my first outing to the Seattle Pops as well, though I have seen performances at the hall.

Poor logistical planning on my part kept us from attending the Figgy Pudding Festival before the show, so we merely walked through it on the way to Beneroya Hall.

As it turned out the show was terrific and held enormous appeal for the kids. Conductor Marvin Hamlisch speaks to and interacts with his audience -- he is as much an entertainer as he is a conductor and great composer. Santa made an appearance and sang a couple of tunes (he's coming to town, you know!) And my daughter was partially won over.

Here is a review of the program, courtesy my seven-year-old:

The Seattle Pops: for a child it was pretty much okay, but it was long and we sat in the back row. And it did not snow in the back row, and I was disappointed. The best part was when Santa came, and Intermission, because I was hungry and I got to eat a chocolate mousse with a cookie on top. I liked Christmasy songs like “Winter Wonderland.” [The conductor] was famous and funny and I don’t think the Santa Claus was real. The conductor said he called him (Santa) but I don’t think anyone knows what Santa’s phone number is.

Forgetting One's Birthday

2008-12-02T06:30:00.000-08:00

Something I have long feared about getting older: that birthdays will lose their magic.

I celebrated my birthday last week along with Ed Harris, Jon Stewart, Randy Newman and Judd Nelson. Anna Nichole Smith, I also learned, was born on the same year and day that I was.

We were in New York for the week while our daughter stayed with her grandparents. My wife wanted to go to Rockefeller Center to see Manilow (known in our home merely as 'Barry' or sometimes 'Barris') and just before he went on stage my daughter called me up on my cell phone and said, "Happy Birthday, Dad." And up to that moment the fact that it was my birthday had escaped both me and my wife.

Leave it to a seven-year-old to remember what's important. And leave it to a seven year old to bring a little excitement back into one's birthday by being the only one in the family to remember it.

(In their defense, pals Todd and Mike would chime in shortly thereafter with emailed birthday wishes of their own).

So here's a belated happy birthday wish to Dave's late-night buddy and bandleader Paul Shaffer!

More Selections from the Pacific Grits Diary

2008-11-21T20:17:00.000-08:00

Once again I am delving into the old diary for some highlights from the past year.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

I saw something about the Geico caveman TV show, wherein it was referred to as a “travesty of television.” Nothing could have pleased me more.

I watched a trailer for a new vampire movie, and was stuck how classless vampires have become in the past thirty or forty years. At one time, vampires took pride in their appearance: tuxedo, medal, silk-line cape. They were immaculately groomed and kept their fangs sharpened. Now, the vampires you see walking around look like street kids. Where do they keep their coffins?

Monday March 17, 2008 St. Patrick’s Day

Went to court to fight my ticket for running a red light near Sea-Tac airport on January 10. I was in Denver at the time of the infraction. These people are mad. The judge dismissed my case outright.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

My friend Mike, who lives a few miles away down in the valley, posted this: "I can't believe it's snowing again."10 AM Sunday: the thermometer on the back porch reads 50 degrees. The sun is out, yet snow and hail are raining down fairly hard this morning. It's either snow and hail, or the fallout.

Selections from the Pacific Grits Diary

2008-11-13T20:11:00.000-08:00

Friday, September 29, 2006

Mom’s birthday – called her from Emerald Downs. I bet on a horse called Linda J in honor of mom’s birthday, long odds. But no dice, lost the $5 plus fifty more, then experienced a slight resurgence betting on some short odds ponies in the sixth and seventh races.

Friday, October 13, 2006

The Steve Johnson Fan Club 2006 Conference was under way today. The event was a smashing success, despite miserably low recruiting levels. I was presented with a nice pen for my service to the organization.

Friday, October 12, 2007

I assisted my sister, working with cosmetics professionals, in choosing her new scent. I steered her toward natural essences, and she seems pleased.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Eduardo’s Pizza. Mmmmmm. Connie’s is good, Pizzeria Uno and Pizza Duo are very good: Eduardo’s is nearly as good as Gino’s East, the best deep dish I’ve found in Chicago. I relish every opportunity I have to partake of this monstrous delicacy they call Chicago Style pizza. And only in the Windy City, oh yeah!

The Law of the Quantum of Solace

2008-11-09T01:02:00.001-08:00

I was just reading a recent copy of the Gleaner. There is a farming slump on, and the potential for a downturn in the banana sector. I read the sports standings as well, as I follow the Western Basketball Division Frutra/Oasis Purified Water Development League.

The Gleaner, Jamaica's newspaper, is referenced in several of Ian Fleming's James Bond novels. The Bond of the books spent much of his time in the Caribbean. Fleming's short story, "Quantum of Solace," is collected with short stories "From a View to a Kill," "For Your Eyes Only," "Risico" and "The Hildebrand Party" in For Your Eyes Only. The title "Quantum of Solace" comes from a line of dialogue in the story.

The story, less than 20 pages long, is set in Nassau, the Bahamas, and is a story within a story, told by Nassau's Governor to James Bond following a dinner party.

I actually find the back story to this short story rather fascinating, though it is not explored. Bond happens to be in the Bahamas because the US Coast Guard is onto arms smuggling out of Miami to Castro's rebels in Cuba, so bases have been set up in the Bahamas and Jamaica to facilitate the arming of the Cuban rebels. Bond is there to stop it, and while in Nassau its Governor entertains Bond with an odd tale about the fate of a marriage.

And in the telling of this sordid tale the Governor uses the phrase "The Law of the Quantum of Solace."

The Law of the Quantum of Solace states that relationships can withstand many things -- infidelity, crimes, disease. But there is a point wherein civility no longer exists, and one person in the relationship does not care if the other is alive or dead. It becomes a matter of self preservation at that point, for the other.

Whether or not the new new Marc Forster film has anything remotely to do with Fleming's short story remains to be seen. But perhaps the essence of Governor's Law will remain intact. We'll find out on November 14.

Calling the Election

2008-11-04T08:53:00.000-08:00

The Pacific Grits blog is calling the 2008 presidential election for Barack "Barry" Obama at 12:30 PM Eastern Time, before any of the polls have closed.

Pacific Grits gives Obama/Biden 336 electoral votes to the McCain/Palin campaign's 202. Our crack squad of pollsters surveyed three people and have projected that Obama will win both Ohio and Florida, two toss-up states that McCain must win in order to get the 272 electoral votes needed to take the election. The projected loss of both Ohio and Florida effectively eliminates McCain from the race (PacGrits Poll Margin of Error +/- 87%).

An exit-type poll of former Arizona residents indicates that his aunt is voting for Obama, but his mother and other aunt are voting for McCain, giving McCain the edge in his home state. But swing states Arizona, Montana and the Dakotas do not have enough electoral power to dig McCain out of the electoral morass.

The presence Alaska's Governor Palin on the GOP ticket virtually assures a win there, but Alaska's three electoral votes will not be enough to change the election's outcome. (Pictured at left: Palin at the North Pole.)

Pacific Grits anticipates the swearing in of Obama on January 20th, 2009, and the arrival of the much ballyhooed change and prosperity some time between 10:30 AM and noon on Wednesday, January 21st, 2009.

A Blast from the Past - 1992

2008-11-01T02:01:00.000-07:00

Dateline Santa Monica, California. Chris always had a thing for horsies.

Slopping Up the Bathroom

2008-10-25T10:29:00.001-07:00

My daughter described something to me she calls "slopping up the bathroom."

"You throw stuff on the floor, tissue all over the floor, and stuff in the toilets and put water everywhere so it slops up."

Apparently this friend of hers has slopped up the bathroom at school a few times this year and last.

"Have you ever slopped up the bathroom?" I asked.

"Once."

"Tell me about it."

She replied: "Those chapters in my memory seem to be missing."

A Blast from the Past - 1986

2008-10-24T02:32:00.000-07:00

I found a photograph of these kids hanging around managing somehow to avoid trouble. I wonder who they all are?

Noticeably absent are Todd and Chuck.

I will speculate as to their exact whereabouts at the time this photo was taken.

Todd, at the time this photo was taken, was busy watching TV and babysitting with a bus driver who will remain nameless.

Chuck, ironically, was with his father surreptitiously letting the air out of the bus belonging to this very same aforementioned bus driver. It is also interesting to speculate that Todd, Chuck and bus were all in the immediately proximity of less than one block from one another.

An Election Year Past

2008-10-18T01:40:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Chuck for his fact-checking. I have revised this post accordingly.

Twelve years ago I met a GOP presidential candidate, an older, Senate stalwart with an attractive wife and a strong record of military and political service, who ran against a young Democratic incumbent.

The elder statesman lost the election.

Pictured: my sister with the failed GOP candidate.

Road Trip to the North Cascades

2008-10-16T21:53:00.000-07:00

Back in September I took the family and my parents for a drive (a rather lengthy one, as it turned out) through the North Cascade Mountains. The day was spectacular and we all had a great time. Highlights of the trip consisted of miniature golf and a stop in an orchard for some fresh-from-the-tree apples. The day took me back to my own childhood, where a drive into the mountains with my own grandparents was a not uncommon occurrence during the summer months.

Saturday Summation

2008-10-11T09:29:00.000-07:00

I bought some soccer socks for my daughter while I was out the other day and left them in a bag on my desk. When I got home from work last night I found a note from my daughter advising me of my missteps in the procurement of new soccer socks.

I need to go down to the Sports Authority (motto: "Our service could not possibly be any worse!") and return some socks today.

Speaking of Sports Authority, when I was in there recently and asked this girl if they sold warm up suits in youth sizes she said, "Uh, um... well, I'm new here. We sell athletic attire, if that's what you mean." I bought the socks and left.

I encourage everyone to get your information on the present economic issues from a knowledgeable source, and not the local news. I am amazed how much inaccurate reporting there has been out there. And that's just on the easy stuff . One Seattle TV news anchor did not know what a recession was versus a depression.

It's a good time to pick up some bargains.

Even without new socks my daughter's soccer team won today (although they "win" every week, as no score is kept for the 5-7 year olds). Not only that, she scored her first goal ever.

Todd was lamenting that few of the old gang were blogging much these days and had little to say about important subjects, politics among them. I have one comment. No, two. One, I will be glad when this election is over. Two, I will be happy when Obama and Biden start running against McCain and Palin instead of George Bush. Although that strategy seems to be working, so I don't know why anything should change. But long before this election I had read much about McCain, his politics and history with Bush, and he is as much like Bush as Obama is to Osama. There. Off my chest.
One of the ESPN channels went to the Kentucky/South Carolina game today during the fourth quarter. The unexpected airing and the Gamecocks' victory made my afternoon.
Happy weekend, everyone!

The Rainy Season Returns

2008-10-09T21:31:00.000-07:00

Someone Once Told Me Daughters Were More Expensive

2008-09-16T21:47:00.001-07:00

A bathrobe, two outfits and a leather jacket later, she asked for her supper. A ribeye. Medium Rare.

My daughter shops with Daddy and her grandparents.

Obama Slams Palin for Lacking in Foreign Policy Experience

2008-08-30T12:27:00.000-07:00

On the heels of John McCain's appointment of Palin as the GOP Vice Presidential nominee, the Obama camp was quick to respond with the accusation that Palin was unfit for the office because he lacked foreign policy experience.

Palin was quoted as saying, "Look, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!"

Above: Michael Palin Friday on the campaign trail.

McCain Picks Palin for Running Mate

2008-08-29T08:58:00.001-07:00

McCain picks Palin for running mate

Python to be first comedic vice-presidential candidate for Republicans.

Odd that on the morning after Obama's historic speech in Denver that his opponent runs away with the headlines with a historic announcement of his own.

McCain's choice for a VP will doubtless be controversial, but the move on the part of the presumptive GOP nominee was without a doubt calculated to trump the Dems' post-convention press.

FULL STORY

Light Reading About Benefits

2008-08-15T21:51:00.000-07:00

I actually sat down yesterday and read all 108 pages of my medical benefits guide. Every word. I don’t think I’ve ever done that before. It makes for enlightening reading.

What I found most interesting was contained in the pages that addressed all of the things that are not covered by my medical plan. There were a few that made sense to me, including missed medical appointment charges, injuries sustained while in the military and housekeeping services. (Have you ever tried sending your housekeeper’s bill to your medical insurance company? If so, let me know how that went. I am looking for someone to underwrite maid service around here.)

Then there were a few things which are not covered under my plan which cause me great concern:

Morbid obesity. Perhaps I need to think twice about that late-night snack quart of ice cream.

Dyslexia. Are there medicatoins for tihs conditoin, or dotcors who treat ti?

Attempted Suicide. So should I fail to kill myself, then all the hospital bills come directly to me, further depressing me. Which could lead to another attempt.

Suicide. Aren’t we a little late for medical care at this point? I think funeral expenses become more likely than medical ones.

Injuries sustained during the commission of a felony. A reason to stay on the straight and narrow, I suppose. If I get shot by a cop while trying to rip off a 7-11 I suppose I deserve to pay for my own medical treatment.

Insanity. No kidding. It actually said, "insanity." Correct me if I am wrong, but are the insane that concerned with medical benefits anyway? I don’t think the Joker was too worried about who was going to be paying his doctor bills.

Warm, Soft Cash

2008-07-31T23:21:00.000-07:00

Why is it that currency one receives in change from convenience stores is always so nasty? It's crinkly and soft and warm, sometimes sticky. Where do these bills come from? I don't get that kind of well-worn change at the supermarket, or in a restaurant. And at the bank the bills are nice and crisp. It's only at convenience stores that one finds the dregs of currency.

One of these days I may ship one of those nasty one dollar bills off to a lab and see what they can tell me.

In the mean time, I am telling my 7-11 clerks, "Coinage only, please!"

Exit The Yard Boys, Enter Hector

2008-07-27T15:07:00.000-07:00

Back in 2007 I picked up a couple of yard boys, Seamus and Dillon. They came weekly and did a decent job for me. I was impressed at how, lacking proper tooling, Dillon performed all of my edging on his hands and knees with pruning shears.

He earned his meager wage.

And then, around late August or early September of last year, they abruptly stopped showing up on weekends.

On Halloween of 2007, Seamus came trick-or-treating at my door. I recognized the little weasel right away, and asked him what happened.

"My partner moved away and took all the equipment with him."

Fair enough.

Fast forward to early April of this year, Spring Break. Seamus and Dillon appeared at my door looking for work. Surprise, surprise! It seems Dillon was up visiting from wherever he moved to, and the boys were looking for a little cash. We struck a deal before they told me I had to provide the equipment. No problem. I imagine their old mower is in Dillion's father's garage, somewhere far away. So they did their work, did a good job, and I paid them.

History repeats itself. I haven't heard from them since.

July arrived and I was weeks behind on trimming and mowing. My wife, weary of my constant griping about not having time to mow the lawn, arranged for a person called Hector to take care of the yard.

I left for work on Hector's first day. The grass was above my ankles. When I returned home I could not believe how good things looked. This Hector is obviously a professional, and his work is far superior to my own.

He comes and goes quite mysteriously. I don't even know what he looks like. I only know that I will be billed by mail.

As far as I am concerned, he's on the payroll. Downside is, I will miss lording over the yard boys with comments like, "Uh-oh, I see a weed over there, no cash until it's gone," or "I'd rather you edge the fence with pruning shears."

The other downside is this: we waited until July to retain Hector, which is the start of the dry season. During the dry season the grass browns a bit and will not grow unless it is sprinkled daily. I have a sprinkler system, and used it several years ago and kept a nice lawn during the arid season. But the $349.00 water bill put me off of green lawns during the dry season.

So we bring Hector on at a time when there is little to mow. Oh well. I'll be thankful for his work come March.

Bathroom Remodel Update QUIZ

2008-07-25T23:03:00.000-07:00

The bathroom remodel is complete, and we are pleased with the results.

It’s a very different bathroom. My wife was point on the project, and it looks really good. The décor in the photograph was coordinated by my wife, save the small hand towel which just appeared one day. My daughter took credit for that one. I am not sure where it came from, but I rather like the attitude its message suggests.

The previous décor was vastly different. On the same wall which now features the Michelangelo, there were four items framed in black, which sprung from my wife's sense of humor but which were all very much me.

The first was a photograph of Janet Leigh from the movie Psycho, screaming in the shower.

The other three were bathroom-related quotes, black text on white. I am reproducing the framed quotes below.

Can you identify the source of each of these exchanges?

A.

“Do you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to take a bath.”
“I’ll alert the media.”

“Do you want to run my bath for me?”
“It’s what I live for.”

B.

“No, I don’t have a square to spare. I can’t spare a square.”
“Oh, is it two-ply? Because if it’s two-ply I’ll take one ply. One ply! One puny little ply! I’ll take one measly ply!”
“Look, I don’t have a square and I don’t have a ply.”

C.

“All I want is a truce.”
“I have to go to the bathroom. Is that all right?”
“You gotta go, you gotta go.”
“I already frisked him. He’s clean.”