Saturday, March 06, 2010

The Promises of Hope and Change

It’s been more than a year since the nation kicked George Bush out of office, so I spent some time looking back at campaign interviews and speeches and thought I’d take a moment to celebrate the promises of hope and change that have come to pass.

The end of the war. As pledged repeatedly before and during the 2008 presidential campaign, President Barack Obama pulled our troops out of Iraq and Afghanistan prior the deadline he submitted to the Senate in 2007. With victory declared and apologies to Muslims mailed out on White House stationery, American soldiers were all on their ships and planes on or before March 23, 2008, bound for America. Our men and women in uniform are back home where they belong, gainfully employed in our prospering economy, and Iraq and Afghanistan are well on their way to becoming important international allies.

Evil influences. Echoing a repeated campaign promise to rid government of the putrid influence of lobbyists, Obama took the oath of office and promptly hired more than 40 lobbyists for his own staff in order to keep them off Capital Hill, where their stench might influence members of Congress.

Saving the economy. The dire recession years of Reagan-Bush-Bush are but a memory due to the Obama stimulus package. Unemployment has plummeted to over 10% and fear and anxiety have left the American people, all of whom are now fat and happy and getting free gastric bypass operations.

Free health care for all. In the afterglow of Obama’s having brought the politically divided country together again in economic prosperity, both Democrats and Republicans overwhelmingly passed the health care bill in late 2008, which provides free medical treatment to all Americans at participating Social Security offices nationwide. Small business and the elderly poor have stepped up to the plate in their willingness to fund the trillions of dollars needed to create the eleven new government agencies required to support the bill.

Deficit spending. After slamming the Bush administration for its out-of-control deficit spending, the new President put a halt to all new spending in favor of using five trillion new “no minimum payment” government credit cards which don’t have to be paid off until the President and Congress are long dead and buried.

Guantanamo Bay. The President’s pledge to close the ill-conceived and human rights-violating prison at Guantanamo Bay by the end of 2009 came to pass just after Christmas and was celebrated in the streets across the Muslim world. The fathers, sons and brothers illegally imprisoned there were reunited with their families live on CNN. Most have already found gainful employment with militia groups in places like Iraq, Pakistan and Afghanistan.

A Cleaner Earth. The Obama administration unveiled a plan that will require communities across the nation to spend billions of dollars in 2011 cleaning the smog from the air, with no help from the new government credit cards. Fortunately, because of the stimulus plan, there are piles of cash lying around city halls and state capitols, which will make compliance easy. Besides, the EPA says, the billions spent sucking fog molecules out of the air will be offset by the billions of dollars saved in annual smog-related deaths, which I assume result from soot cancer and smog toe.

Unkept promises? The President indicated yesterday that any promises he has not kept were due to a particularly harsh Winter. We are merely thankful that Obama has yet to take any responsibility for this country and wish that former President George Bush, who, as an ex-President apparently retains enormous influence over the current administration, would just go away.

6 comments: said...
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Chuck said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chuck said... bad after reading the rest, so...I will delete my initial comment.

James said...

Aw, come on, Charles... What was it you deleted?

Steve said...

Now THAT is funny stuff! Hope and change...keep it!

Alan said...

Lovely post, Jay. Thanks for the reminder of how much mentally, spiritually and fiscally better off we are today than a year ago. Hope seems to have left a bad taste in my mouth.