Losing Track of Days

It's week two into "one of those weeks."

Not that it's been bad or anything -- it hasn't, and I am actually having a good time. But with the Seattle Film Festival going on (I am attending quite a few screenings), coordinating a full office relocation over three full days, and a top to bottom bathroom remodel at home, I have to keep reminding myself what day it is. Quite frankly, I keep forgetting.

But it's all good. I am at least having fun. I have seen some great movies (and two stinkers), successfully moved our office to an adjoining building, and the bathroom remodel progresses Wednesday with the arrival of the tile guy.

Or is he coming Thursday? That might be today. What day is it again?

Above, standing outside of the Egyptian Theater in Seattle, between screenings.

What Month is it Again?

I have spent what I had believed to be Memorial Day weekend at the Seattle International Film Festival, and spotted this sign in a restaurant near one of the festival venues.

More on "Another Countdown"

Recently I blogged about how annoying I thought TV "countdown" shows have become.

With apologies to the Food Network (one of my favorite DirecTV destinations), my wife sent me the following email:

Next week, Bobby Flay is going to count down the top 35 most amazing grilling moments on the Food Network.

What IS an amazing grilling moment?

Why 35????

I'm sure you won't want to miss it.

More Jury Duty

Today things started out slowly (as they have every day this week), with no one from the pool called out for trial, so they turned on a television and everyone was allowed to watch Family Feud.

I must admit I miss the old Richard Dawson version of the popular game show. Did you know Dawson developed Family Feud as a spin-off of Match Game? Succeeding Dawson as host was the late Ray Combs, who was sufficient, and certainly better than those hosts who followed: comedian Louie Anderson, and Tim Allen's "Tool Time" buddy, what's-his-name.

The current host is mail-order mogul J. Peterman, who also, I understand, hosts a dog show broadcast and a celebrity dancing program.

Peterman closed his Seattle store a number of years ago, which was a shame, because it was absolutely my favorite place downtown to browse. The products were always interesting - the urban sombrero, and so on.

But enough about Peterman. My number just got called by the clerk. I am off to court.

Waiting on Jury Duty

It seems I am sitting on jury duty two or three times a year these days. Not an excuse, I am told, for getting out of the next one.

I have grown numb to the travails of jury service. At one time, sitting in a crowded jury room waiting endlessly for something to happen was nearly unbearable for me. Now I realize it's not much different from waiting for a delayed flight out of O'Hare - there are too many people crowded into the seating area, the room is too warm and stuffy, it's boring and there's nothing to do and nobody that works here can tell you anything.

At least at the King County Courthouse if the trial is cancelled I can just go home. Not so easy if my flight out of O'Hare gets nixed.

Flying High with C-17 Daddy

I sometimes worry that my Tahoe is too big to maneuver and park, but after seeing a C-17 Globemaster III up close and personal I have found a new respect for the men and woman who sit behind the stick of those flying whales.

C-17 Daddy is one such man. He opened his Saturday to allow the family to come down to the base and look around, and I got a better idea as to what it is that he does. The C-17 does resemble a whale -- it's a large, fat, gray-skinned jet with a mammoth tail and enough room in its cavernous belly for hundreds of Pinocchios and Ghepettos. Plus any tanks or jeeps the marionette may have under his command.

We were given a brief tour highlighting the history of the air wing. The base is an impressive, and it was fascinating to be provided a window into C-17 Daddy's world.

Taking a look at the aircraft that have been flown out of the base over the years, we are given a close-up view of a C-124C (above); looking down the gun barrel of a C-10A Warthog (left).

Another Countdown

Anyone who has cable or satellite TV is inundated with countdowns. Have we, as a society, lost our patience and attention spans to such a degree that we need our television encapsulated into digestible, 40 second nuggets? Along with the success of "clip shows," countdowns have overtaken the American airwaves.

At one time, it was Casey Kasem who "counted them down," the Billboard magazine top ten or top 40 popular songs. That was okay. It was fun to know what the most popular songs were, and to hear them again on radio.

And if you did not want to hear them, then Casey was syndicated on only one channel in each market, and his countdown was easy to avoid.

But countdowns are everywhere now, and for the most part they have no meaning. Even Keith Olbermann's "Countdown" on MSNBC has lost some of its charm ("though not its wit," I was tempted to add, but his obsession with Bill O'Reilly has weakened his show). But at least Olbermann, like Casey Kasem, actually has something to count down. The top news stories of the day have relevance in the same way as the top-selling music singles do. (And if you are asking yourself, Is he suggesting that cable news reporting has stooped to the level of counting down pop hits? the answer is, um, yes, mostly.)

There's no relevance, rhyme or reason to counting down the "Top 10 Shark Attacks." How can that truly be measured? And who cares?

Television itself has jumped the shark.

I envision the pitch meeting at FOX: "We have a thousand hours of stock pelican attack footage in the vault. Why don't we bring in a kid to write a top ten pelican attacks show to air during prime time sweeps?"

"Brilliant! I'll alert our advertisers!"

So for the three people who regularly read my blog, here is the

Pacific Grits Top Ten Annoying Television Countdowns:

10. Disasters of any kind. It's a shame outlets such as the Weather and Discovery Channels have jumped on this bandwagon.

9. Celebrities being bad. Please! Enough!

8. Best theme parks, roller coasters, hotels, restaurants or travel destinations.

7. Murders, murderers, or other gruesome crime-related countdowns.

6. Any countdown show that has the tag "Caught On Tape" in its title.

5. The AFI. Several years ago, the American Film Institute counted down the 100 most popular movies of all time. It was a nice idea and an entertaining hour or two of television. Now the AFI are counting down one hundred of anything and everything having do do with movies: The AFI 100 Heroes and Villains, The AFI 100 Best Movie Quotes, and the recent, ridiculous AFI 100 Years 100 Cheers. Come on! What's next? The AFI 100 Years of Foley?

4. Food- or cooking-related countdowns of any kind (Food Network excepted).

3. Celebrity countdowns of any kind - best dressed, worst dressed, weddings, shocking moments, and so on.

2. Any countdown featuring D-list comedians no one knows making unclever and unfunny comments about whatever is being counted down.

1. Television "moments" shows. These glorified clip shows require no ideas, no script or imagination. Do we need some D-list celeb counting down something nonsensical like "wackiest sit-com moments" or "most amusing game show responses?"

These countdown shows are reality television at its worst. And I do mean it when I think the entire industry has jumped the shark.

Oh, and yes, I do watch them. How can I look away from the train wreck television has become? I only wish they could get Casey Kasem for the Weather Channel's Ten Most Outrageous Tornadoes caught on tape.

House in the House...Sort Of

I don't watch much dramatic television, and have not seen the program "House." I don't know if it is any good or not.

But I love the commercials for "House" that they air on FOX. I saw one tonight that left me breathless and anxious. House appears to be in some big trouble. I hope he gets out of it. I would hate to miss out on future promos for "House."

Back to the Grind

My break from the hustle and bustle ends on Thursday, and my brief foray into unemployment comes to and end when I dive into my first day at a new job.

I was fortunate to have had the opportunity to get out of town during my hiatus from workaday drudgery, and visit Charleston, SC, a place I have long loved. My regret is not having a couple of weeks to linger there, stay at an inn and wander the cobblestone streets and sample the famous low country cuisine from many of Charleston's great restaurants. One of these days I'll have to do something like that.

This morning I slept in, rose late and didn't bother to shave. Tomorrow morning I am up early with razor in hand. It's time to get back to work.

A Brief Trip Back East

My advice to anyone planning to travel 3,000 miles to visit one's family unannounced is this: call ahead.

I did just that this week, flew from Seattle to Columbia, SC, to see my family, and elected not to inform them of my intentions. I let a few pals know before I left and suggested lunch one day while I was home, but my family was not told of my impending arrival.

After landing and picking up my rental car I drove to my dad's office to discover my family was preparing to leave town for a few days. Had my flight arrived half an hour later my father and sister would have already left town.

The upside was that I got to spend a few days in Charleston, enjoying the company of my parents and sister, and her darling daughter who recently turned two. She loves her uncle, and her uncle loves her, and we had a nice time with the Play-dough, though I am having my doctor call the kid in a prescription for Lunesta.

I did get to see two old pals, albeit briefly -- Mothy upon my arrival and Brother Todd before I flew out. My apologies to Rickwell, who apparently failed to retrieve an email letting him know of my diversion which I (think I) dashed off from the Treo before the battery died.

Being unemployed, I was for the first time in eight years ignoring my cell phone and not checking emails. It was a great trip.

Snow, Snow Go Away

My friend Mike, who lives a few miles away down in the valley, posted this:

"I can't believe it's snowing again."

10 AM Sunday: the thermometer on the back porch reads 50 degrees. The sun is out, yet snow and hail are raining down fairly hard this morning.

It's either snow and hail, or the fallout.

As we move toward May I am of a mind to seek out some Spring weather, even if I have to leave the Northwest for a while.

Brrr! I blame global warming. The people aren't paying their tolls!

Fireballs Emerge Victorious

A late April day in Seattle brought fluffy snow, miserable rain, pounding hail and blue-sky sun breaks all within the span of one hour during this week's soccer game. But that's the Pacific Northwest for you.

The Fireballs (1-2) won their first game of the season, outscoring the Bulldogs 11-6. The kids, to their credit were unfazed by the rapid change in weather. They played on, the good sports they are.

Resignation

I have resigned my job.

I had initially planned to present my resignation orally, in person to my boss, with the following words:

"General, I gotta leave. There's a price on my head and if I don't pay off Jabba the Hutt I'm a dead man."

I thought that would be going out in style, with flair, needed and missed. My boss would tell me I was a good pilot and "I hate to lose you."

Needless to say, it did not quite go off that way. I ended up presenting my resignation in writing, using a template Chuck and I have used for more than 15 years, a template provided us by our old nemesis and neighbor, a law enforcement officer named Tony:

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:

I hereby resign.

Signed,

It is the perfect template for quitting your job. It is concise, clear, and doesn't send a mixed message with the inclusion of unnecessarily sappy "thank you"s and "it has been a pleasure to serve"s.

Feel free to use the Tony Resignation Template at no charge.

Seattle Sonics Playing an End Game?

The Seattle Sonics have lost nearly sixty games this season, which may be their last in Seattle as the team's owner wants to move the team to Oklahoma City.

Tonight's loss to the Rockets, 79-66, may have marked my last Sonics game at Key Arena.

It has been a contentious battle here between the owner and the city, end result is that the team may go and the name and team colors will stay in Seattle for a future expansion team.

Regardless, I rather like the arena, and though not an NBA fan per se, I enjoy going to the games. There is an exhilaration to sitting court side at an NBA game that one does not find elsewhere, except perhaps hockey.

So if this was to be my last Sonics game, it was, despite the loss, a good time.

NOTE: When I mentioned to my daughter that I actually caught the basketball during the game, she asked, "Did you dribble it back in?" I replied, no, that I had to toss it back to the referee, and she seemed very disappointed in me for not jumping in there.

Above: Ronald Dupree goes in for a layup; Steve (C17-Daddy) poses for a photo after the game.

Spring Has Sprung

It was 80 degrees in Dallas this week, and I enjoyed the weather there. When I stepped off the American Airlines flight Friday morning in Seattle it was snowing cats and dogs, and snowed all afternoon.

Today was my daughter's first soccer game of the season. It was cold and rained pretty vigorously through much of the game. And the Fireballs lost 7-2. We left the field sodden and muddied, and I had my tax return to finish while Harper went out for pizza.

Welcome Spring!

Happy Easter!

I watched a bit of The Ten Commandments Saturday night, the Cecil B. DeMille classic with Charlton Heston and Yul Brenner, and wondered how long it has been airing on television the night before Easter. As long as I can remember.

C-17 Daddy (Steve) joined us for church and an excellent Easter dinner prepared by my wife. The sweet potatoes were particularly tasty.

Due to the rain we dyed the eggs and hid them indoors. Afterward, Steve and Harper were locked in an epic struggle of Easter Hangman.

The Dallas Police Officer Laughed and Said

"At least it's a rental."

Fighting Global Warming

The state of Washington has introduced a bill to combat global warming, and it is a relief to see that our state is taking a leadership position in addressing the perilous course we are on.

What are we doing?

In order to combat global warming, the legislature is moving to introduce tolls on the state's bridges and freeways. And the billions in revenue from the tolls will be used to build new bridges and roads.

With everyone paying their fair share of tolls (yes, even the hybrid owners!) we can save the polar bears from starving to death and keep the seas from consuming our great cities like New York and San Francisco.

With any luck the other states will follow our lead and save the world through the strategic placement of toll booths.

Gnome Stalking Streets

This is one of the spookiest stories I have ever seen:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article902014.ece

My New Chinese Cleaners

Asians are nice people, but they burn a lot of shirts.

-Don Rickles, Esquire Magazine


I like my shirts crisp and pants pressed, and because my wife is not very handy with an iron, and because I find ironing tedious, I choose to have others take care of my shirts and pants for me.

Back in 2006 I posted a story about a pants issue with my old cleaners which caused me to change cleaners.

My new cleaning outfit was green, environmentally friendly, and the prices were great. Problem was, they did a lousy job with my collars -- they were frequently crumpled. When I finally complained, they replied, "It's the machines. That happens."

So I left them last month, having grown weary of having to re-press my collars.

I have since found a little slice of cleaning heaven not far from the old outfit, a place run by a Chinese lady who is not only friendly but can press a shirt like no other. They're expensive, but the crease in my sleeves is pristine.

And, as an added bonus, they have not once switched my pants or crumpled my collars.

Nor have they burned a shirt.