Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Someone Once Told Me Daughters Were More Expensive


A bathrobe, two outfits and a leather jacket later, she asked for her supper. A ribeye. Medium Rare.
My daughter shops with Daddy and her grandparents.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Obama Slams Palin for Lacking in Foreign Policy Experience



On the heels of John McCain's appointment of Palin as the GOP Vice Presidential nominee, the Obama camp was quick to respond with the accusation that Palin was unfit for the office because he lacked foreign policy experience.

Palin was quoted as saying, "Look, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!"

Above: Michael Palin Friday on the campaign trail.

Friday, August 29, 2008

McCain Picks Palin for Running Mate

McCain picks Palin for running mate


Python to be first comedic vice-presidential candidate for Republicans.

Odd that on the morning after Obama's historic speech in Denver that his opponent runs away with the headlines with a historic announcement of his own.

McCain's choice for a VP will doubtless be controversial, but the move on the part of the presumptive GOP nominee was without a doubt calculated to trump the Dems' post-convention press.

FULL STORY


Friday, August 15, 2008

Light Reading About Benefits

I actually sat down yesterday and read all 108 pages of my medical benefits guide. Every word. I don’t think I’ve ever done that before. It makes for enlightening reading.

What I found most interesting was contained in the pages that addressed all of the things that are not covered by my medical plan. There were a few that made sense to me, including missed medical appointment charges, injuries sustained while in the military and housekeeping services. (Have you ever tried sending your housekeeper’s bill to your medical insurance company? If so, let me know how that went. I am looking for someone to underwrite maid service around here.)

Then there were a few things which are not covered under my plan which cause me great concern:

Morbid obesity. Perhaps I need to think twice about that late-night snack quart of ice cream.

Dyslexia. Are there medicatoins for tihs conditoin, or dotcors who treat ti?

Attempted Suicide. So should I fail to kill myself, then all the hospital bills come directly to me, further depressing me. Which could lead to another attempt.

Suicide. Aren’t we a little late for medical care at this point? I think funeral expenses become more likely than medical ones.

Injuries sustained during the commission of a felony. A reason to stay on the straight and narrow, I suppose. If I get shot by a cop while trying to rip off a 7-11 I suppose I deserve to pay for my own medical treatment.

Insanity. No kidding. It actually said, "insanity." Correct me if I am wrong, but are the insane that concerned with medical benefits anyway? I don’t think the Joker was too worried about who was going to be paying his doctor bills.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Warm, Soft Cash

Why is it that currency one receives in change from convenience stores is always so nasty? It's crinkly and soft and warm, sometimes sticky. Where do these bills come from? I don't get that kind of well-worn change at the supermarket, or in a restaurant. And at the bank the bills are nice and crisp. It's only at convenience stores that one finds the dregs of currency.


One of these days I may ship one of those nasty one dollar bills off to a lab and see what they can tell me.

In the mean time, I am telling my 7-11 clerks, "Coinage only, please!"

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Exit The Yard Boys, Enter Hector

Back in 2007 I picked up a couple of yard boys, Seamus and Dillon. They came weekly and did a decent job for me. I was impressed at how, lacking proper tooling, Dillon performed all of my edging on his hands and knees with pruning shears.

He earned his meager wage.

And then, around late August or early September of last year, they abruptly stopped showing up on weekends.

On Halloween of 2007, Seamus came trick-or-treating at my door. I recognized the little weasel right away, and asked him what happened.

"My partner moved away and took all the equipment with him."

Fair enough.

Fast forward to early April of this year, Spring Break. Seamus and Dillon appeared at my door looking for work. Surprise, surprise! It seems Dillon was up visiting from wherever he moved to, and the boys were looking for a little cash. We struck a deal before they told me I had to provide the equipment. No problem. I imagine their old mower is in Dillion's father's garage, somewhere far away. So they did their work, did a good job, and I paid them.

History repeats itself. I haven't heard from them since.

July arrived and I was weeks behind on trimming and mowing. My wife, weary of my constant griping about not having time to mow the lawn, arranged for a person called Hector to take care of the yard.

I left for work on Hector's first day. The grass was above my ankles. When I returned home I could not believe how good things looked. This Hector is obviously a professional, and his work is far superior to my own.

He comes and goes quite mysteriously. I don't even know what he looks like. I only know that I will be billed by mail.

As far as I am concerned, he's on the payroll. Downside is, I will miss lording over the yard boys with comments like, "Uh-oh, I see a weed over there, no cash until it's gone," or "I'd rather you edge the fence with pruning shears."

The other downside is this: we waited until July to retain Hector, which is the start of the dry season. During the dry season the grass browns a bit and will not grow unless it is sprinkled daily. I have a sprinkler system, and used it several years ago and kept a nice lawn during the arid season. But the $349.00 water bill put me off of green lawns during the dry season.

So we bring Hector on at a time when there is little to mow. Oh well. I'll be thankful for his work come March.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Bathroom Remodel Update QUIZ




The bathroom remodel is complete, and we are pleased with the results.

It’s a very different bathroom. My wife was point on the project, and it looks really good. The décor in the photograph was coordinated by my wife, save the small hand towel which just appeared one day. My daughter took credit for that one. I am not sure where it came from, but I rather like the attitude its message suggests.

The previous décor was vastly different. On the same wall which now features the Michelangelo, there were four items framed in black, which sprung from my wife's sense of humor but which were all very much me.

The first was a photograph of Janet Leigh from the movie Psycho, screaming in the shower.

The other three were bathroom-related quotes, black text on white. I am reproducing the framed quotes below.

Can you identify the source of each of these exchanges?

A.

“Do you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to take a bath.”
“I’ll alert the media.”
“Do you want to run my bath for me?”
“It’s what I live for.”

B.

“No, I don’t have a square to spare. I can’t spare a square.”
“Oh, is it two-ply? Because if it’s two-ply I’ll take one ply. One ply! One puny little ply! I’ll take one measly ply!”
“Look, I don’t have a square and I don’t have a ply.”

C.

“All I want is a truce.”
“I have to go to the bathroom. Is that all right?”
“You gotta go, you gotta go.”
“I already frisked him. He’s clean.”

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Today's Bible Story

My daughter told me the following Bible story this morning:

“These people, the Israelites, were going to kill a bull, but instead they built an idol. It was a small idol, a small bull. They built it and had an idol party. Then, he shows up and says, ‘Hey, hold on, people, time out!’ They were all in big trouble.”

“Was that Moses who showed up?” I asked.

“No, Moses was too busy running around collecting gold for the idol. It was Moses’ brother. And it was his brother’s friend who was behind the whole thing. When Moses found out, he put his brother’s friend in a treasure chest and said, “Don’t ever, ever do that again!”

“There’s another story about two guys who take a sword up and go camping between two houses, and lose the sword. But I don’t remember if that one was in the Bible or not.”

Saturday, July 12, 2008

A Few Words About Animals

It can be tough to lose a pet. When Tom, my secretary, discovered that his cat had died, he was a basket case for a week. "If you see me dash unexpectedly out of the office," he said, "I wanted you to know why."

I see fliers on telephone poles with photos of cute dogs and cats who have gone missing, and I know the people who belong to these missing pets must be worried sick.

In our neighborhood fliers went out this week about a missing turtle. No doubt a beloved turtle, as it had been photographed on the pillow of a human bed. The Turtle Lady, out canvassing this morning, knocked on our door and asked to search our yard.

I saw two fairly large raccoons in one of the cherry trees last night. I figure if the turtle was back there yesterday, the Turtle Lady might find his shell today.

Do raccoons eat turtles? I don't see why they wouldn't.

Our dog has not gone missing. In fact, she has increased her comings and goings since figuring out how to open the back door.

Now she won't stay outside. If she gets tired of being out there, she just comes right on in when she feels like it. But she has not learned to shut the door, however, and the problem this has created is that yesterday alone I chased down two crane flies and about half a dozen moths.

By the way, while you're out looking for turtles, keep an eye out for my sister's turtle as well. He has three legs and does not respond to the name "Ahab."

Friday, July 11, 2008

Friends in Advertising


I found this somewhat dated phone company brochure about cordless phone accessories which features my old friend Alan, obviously taken during his half-hearted attempt at fashioning a modeling career for himself.

I would be curious as to whether or not he appears in any other ads.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Too Many Cables

Why is it that my life is dominated by cables? I have so many that I took the label maker out and labeled them. The Nikon, a couple of video cameras, the cables for my Studio editing software, cell phones, Palm pilots, electric razors, the MPE player, handfuls of incompatible chargers -- it's insane. And don't get me started with the home media center stuff.

I had a number of maddening entertainment center components until last spring: DirecTV box, receiver, DVD, VHS, turntable, DVR, not to mention the TV. And all of it interconnected with cables.

So in April of 2007, after weeks of research, I chucked the whole thing and went with the Bose Lifestyle and a Sony Bravia TV. The entertainment center was sold on Craig's List and we bought a simple TV stand, underneath which is the sound system and the DirecTV box -- that's it. And with HDMI and optical audio, cabling has become simplified. And the whole living room became simple and clutter-free for the first time in our marriage.

Which brings me to a last month. My family was shopping at Target and my daughter and I stopped at the XBox demo. "Let's try out some games," I told her, and we ran through the demo. I hadn't played a video game console since 1995. We found a race car game we both liked, and I told my daughter I would buy it for her. My wife interjected: "We don't have an XBox."

But we did. It had been in the living room, unopened in its box, for months. "What did you think that thing was?" I asked.

"I don't know. Why haven't you hooked it up?"

"Where would we put it? Besides, I don't want all those cables everywhere."

So I have one XBox racing game, and a box that says XBox 360 Elite (which I procured at a charity auction by virtue of the fact it was the only thing on the list that I would be even remotely interested in) which have yet to be opened. I may not even know what happened to that game. But it's getting to the point where I may have to do something. It may mean a few more cables (my guess is three, four if I want to do the on-line thing).

But I am restless tonight so maybe I will change my mind. Anyone care to recommend any games?

Above: My video game console now languishes in the garage.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Hot Enought for Me

I saw a list of cities on MSNBC which were rated as the sweatiest in the nation. At no. 1 Phoenix was the sweatiest, and San Francisco, ranked 100, was listed as the unsweatiest.

After two days of record temperatures in Seattle this weekend -- Saturday and Sunday we hit 91 degrees -- I have to confess that I did a rare thing yesterday evening and went to dinner in jeans and a tee shirt. Way too hot for a collar.

There was some sweating going on. It was probably 87 degrees in the house.

The list was based on meteorological data and not some cultural "Sweatin' to the Oldies" countdown, so took the information to be more-or-less accurate. And it does hold up to my personal experience, as well.

A few highlights:

2. Las Vegas
8. Tampa
13. Birmingham
24. Columbia, SC
33. Charleston, SC
43. Atlanta, GA
48. Washington, DC
61. Charleston, WV
67. Chicago
80. Boston
94. Green Bay
99. Seattle

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Shower, Anyone?


This is the point in one's bathroom remodel that wisdom prevails and one calls in the contractor.
Actually, we're a little further along since this photo was taken.

I recall the painter, Eldin, from the TV series Murphy Brown. He was a great guy, but never seemed to actually finish painting Murphy's house.

Our painter, who is a first-rate commercial painter (he's done work for me commercially for 8 years), has been retained for the bathroom job, repairing drywall, fixing the ceiling and of course painting. It's a small bathroom, and I am amused that he's worked in fits and starts thus far. I would figure one could knock out this job in a day or two, but Eldin has been at this bathroom for weeks, popping in for 15 minutes here and there, patching a hole or sanding something and hanging out with the dog.

We hope to have the project complete before we sell the house.

In four of five years.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

An Update on the New Job

More than a month into my transition to a new career I find that things are progressing swimmingly.

I have been put in charge of the Penske file, and during the past month I have successfully transferred the contents of the Penske file into a fancy, accordion-style binder.

I truly believe I am Penske material. Penske nearly said so himself before rushing downstairs to the street where his car was being towed.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Losing Track of Days


It's week two into "one of those weeks."

Not that it's been bad or anything -- it hasn't, and I am actually having a good time. But with the Seattle Film Festival going on (I am attending quite a few screenings), coordinating a full office relocation over three full days, and a top to bottom bathroom remodel at home, I have to keep reminding myself what day it is. Quite frankly, I keep forgetting.

But it's all good. I am at least having fun. I have seen some great movies (and two stinkers), successfully moved our office to an adjoining building, and the bathroom remodel progresses Wednesday with the arrival of the tile guy.

Or is he coming Thursday? That might be today. What day is it again?


Above, standing outside of the Egyptian Theater in Seattle, between screenings.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

What Month is it Again?


I have spent what I had believed to be Memorial Day weekend at the Seattle International Film Festival, and spotted this sign in a restaurant near one of the festival venues.


More on "Another Countdown"

Recently I blogged about how annoying I thought TV "countdown" shows have become.

With apologies to the Food Network (one of my favorite DirecTV destinations), my wife sent me the following email:

Next week, Bobby Flay is going to count down the top 35 most amazing grilling moments on the Food Network.

What IS an amazing grilling moment?

Why 35????

I'm sure you won't want to miss it.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

More Jury Duty

Today things started out slowly (as they have every day this week), with no one from the pool called out for trial, so they turned on a television and everyone was allowed to watch Family Feud.

I must admit I miss the old Richard Dawson version of the popular game show. Did you know Dawson developed Family Feud as a spin-off of Match Game? Succeeding Dawson as host was the late Ray Combs, who was sufficient, and certainly better than those hosts who followed: comedian Louie Anderson, and Tim Allen's "Tool Time" buddy, what's-his-name.

The current host is mail-order mogul J. Peterman, who also, I understand, hosts a dog show broadcast and a celebrity dancing program.

Peterman closed his Seattle store a number of years ago, which was a shame, because it was absolutely my favorite place downtown to browse. The products were always interesting - the urban sombrero, and so on.

But enough about Peterman. My number just got called by the clerk. I am off to court.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Waiting on Jury Duty

It seems I am sitting on jury duty two or three times a year these days. Not an excuse, I am told, for getting out of the next one.

I have grown numb to the travails of jury service. At one time, sitting in a crowded jury room waiting endlessly for something to happen was nearly unbearable for me. Now I realize it's not much different from waiting for a delayed flight out of O'Hare - there are too many people crowded into the seating area, the room is too warm and stuffy, it's boring and there's nothing to do and nobody that works here can tell you anything.

At least at the King County Courthouse if the trial is cancelled I can just go home. Not so easy if my flight out of O'Hare gets nixed.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Flying High with C-17 Daddy


I sometimes worry that my Tahoe is too big to maneuver and park, but after seeing a C-17 Globemaster III up close and personal I have found a new respect for the men and woman who sit behind the stick of those flying whales.

C-17 Daddy is one such man. He opened his Saturday to allow the family to come down to the base and look around, and I got a better idea as to what it is that he does. The C-17 does resemble a whale -- it's a large, fat, gray-skinned jet with a mammoth tail and enough room in its cavernous belly for hundreds of Pinocchios and Ghepettos. Plus any tanks or jeeps the marionette may have under his command.

We were given a brief tour highlighting the history of the air wing. The base is an impressive, and it was fascinating to be provided a window into C-17 Daddy's world.
Taking a look at the aircraft that have been flown out of the base over the years, we are given a close-up view of a C-124C (above); looking down the gun barrel of a C-10A Warthog (left).