Another Countdown

Anyone who has cable or satellite TV is inundated with countdowns. Have we, as a society, lost our patience and attention spans to such a degree that we need our television encapsulated into digestible, 40 second nuggets? Along with the success of "clip shows," countdowns have overtaken the American airwaves.

At one time, it was Casey Kasem who "counted them down," the Billboard magazine top ten or top 40 popular songs. That was okay. It was fun to know what the most popular songs were, and to hear them again on radio.

And if you did not want to hear them, then Casey was syndicated on only one channel in each market, and his countdown was easy to avoid.

But countdowns are everywhere now, and for the most part they have no meaning. Even Keith Olbermann's "Countdown" on MSNBC has lost some of its charm ("though not its wit," I was tempted to add, but his obsession with Bill O'Reilly has weakened his show). But at least Olbermann, like Casey Kasem, actually has something to count down. The top news stories of the day have relevance in the same way as the top-selling music singles do. (And if you are asking yourself, Is he suggesting that cable news reporting has stooped to the level of counting down pop hits? the answer is, um, yes, mostly.)

There's no relevance, rhyme or reason to counting down the "Top 10 Shark Attacks." How can that truly be measured? And who cares?

Television itself has jumped the shark.

I envision the pitch meeting at FOX: "We have a thousand hours of stock pelican attack footage in the vault. Why don't we bring in a kid to write a top ten pelican attacks show to air during prime time sweeps?"

"Brilliant! I'll alert our advertisers!"

So for the three people who regularly read my blog, here is the

Pacific Grits Top Ten Annoying Television Countdowns:

10. Disasters of any kind. It's a shame outlets such as the Weather and Discovery Channels have jumped on this bandwagon.

9. Celebrities being bad. Please! Enough!

8. Best theme parks, roller coasters, hotels, restaurants or travel destinations.

7. Murders, murderers, or other gruesome crime-related countdowns.

6. Any countdown show that has the tag "Caught On Tape" in its title.

5. The AFI. Several years ago, the American Film Institute counted down the 100 most popular movies of all time. It was a nice idea and an entertaining hour or two of television. Now the AFI are counting down one hundred of anything and everything having do do with movies: The AFI 100 Heroes and Villains, The AFI 100 Best Movie Quotes, and the recent, ridiculous AFI 100 Years 100 Cheers. Come on! What's next? The AFI 100 Years of Foley?

4. Food- or cooking-related countdowns of any kind (Food Network excepted).

3. Celebrity countdowns of any kind - best dressed, worst dressed, weddings, shocking moments, and so on.

2. Any countdown featuring D-list comedians no one knows making unclever and unfunny comments about whatever is being counted down.

1. Television "moments" shows. These glorified clip shows require no ideas, no script or imagination. Do we need some D-list celeb counting down something nonsensical like "wackiest sit-com moments" or "most amusing game show responses?"

These countdown shows are reality television at its worst. And I do mean it when I think the entire industry has jumped the shark.

Oh, and yes, I do watch them. How can I look away from the train wreck television has become? I only wish they could get Casey Kasem for the Weather Channel's Ten Most Outrageous Tornadoes caught on tape.

House in the House...Sort Of

I don't watch much dramatic television, and have not seen the program "House." I don't know if it is any good or not.

But I love the commercials for "House" that they air on FOX. I saw one tonight that left me breathless and anxious. House appears to be in some big trouble. I hope he gets out of it. I would hate to miss out on future promos for "House."

Back to the Grind

My break from the hustle and bustle ends on Thursday, and my brief foray into unemployment comes to and end when I dive into my first day at a new job.

I was fortunate to have had the opportunity to get out of town during my hiatus from workaday drudgery, and visit Charleston, SC, a place I have long loved. My regret is not having a couple of weeks to linger there, stay at an inn and wander the cobblestone streets and sample the famous low country cuisine from many of Charleston's great restaurants. One of these days I'll have to do something like that.

This morning I slept in, rose late and didn't bother to shave. Tomorrow morning I am up early with razor in hand. It's time to get back to work.

A Brief Trip Back East

My advice to anyone planning to travel 3,000 miles to visit one's family unannounced is this: call ahead.

I did just that this week, flew from Seattle to Columbia, SC, to see my family, and elected not to inform them of my intentions. I let a few pals know before I left and suggested lunch one day while I was home, but my family was not told of my impending arrival.

After landing and picking up my rental car I drove to my dad's office to discover my family was preparing to leave town for a few days. Had my flight arrived half an hour later my father and sister would have already left town.

The upside was that I got to spend a few days in Charleston, enjoying the company of my parents and sister, and her darling daughter who recently turned two. She loves her uncle, and her uncle loves her, and we had a nice time with the Play-dough, though I am having my doctor call the kid in a prescription for Lunesta.

I did get to see two old pals, albeit briefly -- Mothy upon my arrival and Brother Todd before I flew out. My apologies to Rickwell, who apparently failed to retrieve an email letting him know of my diversion which I (think I) dashed off from the Treo before the battery died.

Being unemployed, I was for the first time in eight years ignoring my cell phone and not checking emails. It was a great trip.

Snow, Snow Go Away

My friend Mike, who lives a few miles away down in the valley, posted this:

"I can't believe it's snowing again."

10 AM Sunday: the thermometer on the back porch reads 50 degrees. The sun is out, yet snow and hail are raining down fairly hard this morning.

It's either snow and hail, or the fallout.

As we move toward May I am of a mind to seek out some Spring weather, even if I have to leave the Northwest for a while.

Brrr! I blame global warming. The people aren't paying their tolls!

Fireballs Emerge Victorious

A late April day in Seattle brought fluffy snow, miserable rain, pounding hail and blue-sky sun breaks all within the span of one hour during this week's soccer game. But that's the Pacific Northwest for you.

The Fireballs (1-2) won their first game of the season, outscoring the Bulldogs 11-6. The kids, to their credit were unfazed by the rapid change in weather. They played on, the good sports they are.

Resignation

I have resigned my job.

I had initially planned to present my resignation orally, in person to my boss, with the following words:

"General, I gotta leave. There's a price on my head and if I don't pay off Jabba the Hutt I'm a dead man."

I thought that would be going out in style, with flair, needed and missed. My boss would tell me I was a good pilot and "I hate to lose you."

Needless to say, it did not quite go off that way. I ended up presenting my resignation in writing, using a template Chuck and I have used for more than 15 years, a template provided us by our old nemesis and neighbor, a law enforcement officer named Tony:

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:

I hereby resign.

Signed,

It is the perfect template for quitting your job. It is concise, clear, and doesn't send a mixed message with the inclusion of unnecessarily sappy "thank you"s and "it has been a pleasure to serve"s.

Feel free to use the Tony Resignation Template at no charge.

Seattle Sonics Playing an End Game?

The Seattle Sonics have lost nearly sixty games this season, which may be their last in Seattle as the team's owner wants to move the team to Oklahoma City.

Tonight's loss to the Rockets, 79-66, may have marked my last Sonics game at Key Arena.

It has been a contentious battle here between the owner and the city, end result is that the team may go and the name and team colors will stay in Seattle for a future expansion team.

Regardless, I rather like the arena, and though not an NBA fan per se, I enjoy going to the games. There is an exhilaration to sitting court side at an NBA game that one does not find elsewhere, except perhaps hockey.

So if this was to be my last Sonics game, it was, despite the loss, a good time.

NOTE: When I mentioned to my daughter that I actually caught the basketball during the game, she asked, "Did you dribble it back in?" I replied, no, that I had to toss it back to the referee, and she seemed very disappointed in me for not jumping in there.

Above: Ronald Dupree goes in for a layup; Steve (C17-Daddy) poses for a photo after the game.

Spring Has Sprung

It was 80 degrees in Dallas this week, and I enjoyed the weather there. When I stepped off the American Airlines flight Friday morning in Seattle it was snowing cats and dogs, and snowed all afternoon.

Today was my daughter's first soccer game of the season. It was cold and rained pretty vigorously through much of the game. And the Fireballs lost 7-2. We left the field sodden and muddied, and I had my tax return to finish while Harper went out for pizza.

Welcome Spring!

Happy Easter!

I watched a bit of The Ten Commandments Saturday night, the Cecil B. DeMille classic with Charlton Heston and Yul Brenner, and wondered how long it has been airing on television the night before Easter. As long as I can remember.

C-17 Daddy (Steve) joined us for church and an excellent Easter dinner prepared by my wife. The sweet potatoes were particularly tasty.

Due to the rain we dyed the eggs and hid them indoors. Afterward, Steve and Harper were locked in an epic struggle of Easter Hangman.

The Dallas Police Officer Laughed and Said

"At least it's a rental."

Fighting Global Warming

The state of Washington has introduced a bill to combat global warming, and it is a relief to see that our state is taking a leadership position in addressing the perilous course we are on.

What are we doing?

In order to combat global warming, the legislature is moving to introduce tolls on the state's bridges and freeways. And the billions in revenue from the tolls will be used to build new bridges and roads.

With everyone paying their fair share of tolls (yes, even the hybrid owners!) we can save the polar bears from starving to death and keep the seas from consuming our great cities like New York and San Francisco.

With any luck the other states will follow our lead and save the world through the strategic placement of toll booths.

Gnome Stalking Streets

This is one of the spookiest stories I have ever seen:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article902014.ece

My New Chinese Cleaners

Asians are nice people, but they burn a lot of shirts.

-Don Rickles, Esquire Magazine


I like my shirts crisp and pants pressed, and because my wife is not very handy with an iron, and because I find ironing tedious, I choose to have others take care of my shirts and pants for me.

Back in 2006 I posted a story about a pants issue with my old cleaners which caused me to change cleaners.

My new cleaning outfit was green, environmentally friendly, and the prices were great. Problem was, they did a lousy job with my collars -- they were frequently crumpled. When I finally complained, they replied, "It's the machines. That happens."

So I left them last month, having grown weary of having to re-press my collars.

I have since found a little slice of cleaning heaven not far from the old outfit, a place run by a Chinese lady who is not only friendly but can press a shirt like no other. They're expensive, but the crease in my sleeves is pristine.

And, as an added bonus, they have not once switched my pants or crumpled my collars.

Nor have they burned a shirt.

James is...

A couple of my fellow bloggers performed Google searches on their names with the word "is" added to the search criteria, and posted the top ten results on their blogs.

Here's what I found out about myself when searching "James is."

• James is still employed by the Red Sox


• James is apparently fat, old and ugly


• James is good


• James is sympathetic both to the idea that the universe is something we can...


• James is at pains to deny that


• James is the Sidney Crosby of hockey blogging


• James is publishing denegrating info about us on his website


• James is currently working on a book


• James is also an official curry monster


• James, is adaptive and functional

This Year's Oscar Picks

Chuck and I have posted our Oscar picks for this year.

You can see them, and the results, here.

Traveling with Style

I will confess that my daughter has more style than I do. She is always on the go, jetting across the country earning more air miles in a year than I accrued during the first 35 years of my life.

She is pictured here at the Atlanta airport, having disembarked a commuter plane and on her way into the terminal for a connecting flight to Seattle.


Jumper and crew neck shirt by Gymboree. Luggage by Ruff Ruffman.

Images from the Past - Toonces

After a day of flea-marketing, Jolly picks up a kitten and names it "Toonces." The kitten lived with Jolly and Terry and me for a while. Then Toonces lived with me and moved to Seattle.

Once, Toonces became entrapped in the tuned port of one of Terry's giant custom-made stereo speakers.
Left to right: Toonces, Jolly, George and Alan.

Today's Kitchen Tip

My daughter reminds us all to make sure you label all your frozen foods.

Pictured: a frozen steak in a Ziploc freezer bag carefully labeled by a six-year-old.

Got a Book 123

Though not officially tagged by Rickwell, I picked up the top book on my table after reading these words from Rick's blog:

• Pick up the nearest book of 123 pages or more. No cheating!
• Find Page 123.
• Find the first 5 sentences.
• Post the next 3 sentences.
• Tag 5 people.

This is what I read on page 123 of Mere Anarchy, beginning with sentence six:

Touched by this request for some measure of genuine coin of the realm, Pepkin terminated his treatment, and on the advice of some shyster he plays eight ball with sued me for malpractice.

Unable to handle the sudden downsizing and the hardship that accured when Bergdorf's amputated her charge account, Foxy Brietbart exchanged me even up for an anorexic four-eyed pipsqueak whose computer-chip parent catapulted him, at twenty-five, seven notches above the Sultan of Brunei on a certain list in Forbes. Meanwhile, I was left with a trunkful of sheet music with titles like "The Earthworms of Tuscanny" and "At the Speleologists Ball."

Zen and the Art of Not Caring About the Super Bowl

Huh. I should try not caring more often. Not investing myself emotionally in Sunday's Super Bowl led me to cheer for New York by default, and I ultimately enjoyed the upset. A great final quarter.

Oh - and despite my previous post, I did, as it turned out, have an interest in the coin toss. I had the Giants to win the coin toss, the Patriots to score first, that Brady would not throw and interception, that the Pats would give up the game's first turn-over, that the cameras would show Peyton Manning, I had the Giants making the most field goals, and New England up at the half.

All in all, a nice time was had by all.

And Mitsuru never came home.

Super Bowl Sunday Here Again

Super Bowl Sunday has come round again, and we return to the Mid-Yo's for our annual Super Bowl gathering. I whipped up a cauldron of creamy home-made clam chowder and some artichoke crab dip (my wife reminded me I forgot to add the garlic -- oh well) while listening to the foreboding score to There Will Be Blood (a fantastic movie, by the way) on XM.

My daughter asked me who we are rooting for in today's game. Seattle is out. The Packers, out. Any other team I have an inclination toward, out. Since I don't like the Pats I am pulling for the Giants by default, so I told my daughter, cheer for New York. They have the blue helmets with "ny" printed on them.

It's too bad I don't care about this year's game. The Seattle-Pittsburgh match-up of two years ago made for a good gathering, particularly in this town. And last year, having been in Chicago in the weeks (and week) leading up to Super Bowl XLI it was a no-brainer going for the bears. But seeing as I have a tendency to pull for the underdog (and eventual loser) I suppose that even by my reluctant support of the Giants they are doomed to failure.

I have no bets on the game, though these days you can place bets on the coin toss, on who scores first, and so on and so on. It's crazy. At least I have the commercials to look forward to.

HELP ME

Each year I participate in the MS Walk, an important charitable function for me as my grandmother suffered from multiple sclerosis and two dear people who have been in my life are presently battling the disease.

My friend Jennie is doing a heroic job of fighting her condition, while at the same time raising a toddler and taking care of a husband who works many hours at a challenging job.

If you click on the link to the right, you will go to my MS page. At this writing I am 0% toward my goal of raising $250, and I would love to raise much more.

Help us out. Five dollars, ten dollars, whatever you can do. Every little bit helps.

You can donate on-line or email me and I can send you an address if you wish, to mail your support.

Thanks in advance to all who join me in seeking an end to multiple sclerosis.

All Hat and No Cattle

My last night in Dallas I went to a rather well-respected local steakhouse (one with the word "cattle" in its name), and ordered a ribeye cooked medium rare.

When the steak was presented it immediately had the appearance of something well-done. But a little searing on the outside that belies a cool, red center is okay with me.

But it was not to be. The steak was not only well-done, but very well-done. It was awful, and I consumed but three or four small bites. When the waitress returned to the table, she could sense by displeasure and realized, by looking at the cut, that it had not been prepared to my specifications. When she asked me, "You don't like the steak?" I replied, "It's all hat and no cattle, friendo."

Images from the Past

Carowinds amusement park, 1986.

From left to right: me, George, Fred.

Call it, Friendo

Quoted from the Urban Dictionary (used without permission): Friendo - An intimidating word you use when you want to shake down or scare someone who actually isn't really a friend.

"Call it, friendo."

- Anton Chigurh (played by Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men), to an old, simple convenience store proprietor after flipping a coin to determine whether the old man lives or dies. Bardem is the favorite to win the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his role as the cold, money-seeking hit man.

From Dallas, Texas

Ah, the great state of Texas, where everything is big, including my dinner bill last night.

I received a challenge this week which I will attempt to meet with courage and honor: Mike challenged me to use the phrase “all hat and no cattle” at least once while I am in Dallas. And that I must call someone "Friendo."

I shall make every effort, and report back in this space on my success.

In the mean time, pardner, it's back to work with me.

Images from the Past

Jolly gets his American Express Card. The year was 1989, and I lived with Jolly and Terry in a little house on State Street in Cayce.

That's Randall pictured with Jolly and his AMEX card.

Shortly after this photo was taken, Jolly exclaimed, "Kick it!" and purchased a new set of drums, a Ford Mustang, and a selection of items from the 59/69/79 cents value menu at Taco Bell.

Stuck in the Snow

My friend Matt sent me a few pictures from our recent snowmobiling trip to Hyak, Washington, in the Cascade Mountains. That's Matt's sled sunk in six feet of fresh powder, and that's me trying to dig it out.

Farwell to Favorite Toonsmiths

I have been reading the David Michaelis's book on Charles Schulz, which I am enjoying very much. I have always enjoyed Peanuts, since I was a small child, and Schulz's humor and insight instilled in me a love of cartoons that I carry even until this day.

Schulz died in February of 2000 with instructions that no new artists would ever be allowed to draw or create Peanuts comic strips, though new animated television specials, taken from stories previously crafted by Schulz in his comic strip, will continue to be produced.

We have lost several other cartoonists in the last year whose work I have admired:

• Joseph Barbara, the famed television animator, created and produced memorable shows like The Jetsons and The Flintstones.
• Doug Marlette, a political cartoonist who won the Pulitzer Prize, was widely known for the comic strip Kudzu.
• In April both Brant Parker, 86, and Johnny Hart, 76, died. Parker and Hart created the Wizard of ID and Hart alone was responsible for B.C.
• Iwao Takamoto, creator of Scooby Doo.

And in an unusual and controversial twist, Lisa Moore, a character in the daily comic strip Funky Winkerbean, who was married to perennial favorite Les Moore, died of breast cancer in October.

A Few More Photos from Christmas

A tired child after a busy day, Christmas lights at Disney-MGM Studios, dinner at the drive-in, and goofing over breakfast at Mickey's Kitchen.

A Few Pictures from Christmas at Disney World

The Wilderness Lodge, Cinderella's castle at night, Main Street USA decorated for Christmas, and my daughter and I at the Disney MGM Studios park.

Recent New York Times

Thanks to Tim Hill for the image.

The Year 2008 Arrives!

And here are a few other things that arrived this morning:

• The newspaper.
• A new Washington minimum wage of $8.07.
• A 2007 "wrap-up" column in newspapers nationwide from the mostly-silent Dave Barry.
• The Twilight Zone marathon on the Sci-Fi channel.
• Collard greens and black eyed peas.
• Colds for two of us in the household.
• A new service package from DirecTV.
• A leap year.
• The end of sending and receiving text messages in motor vehicles in Washington state: "texting" is now illegal.
• The Chinese Year of the Rat bringing prosperity with a side of egg rolls to all who embrace the DVD release of Ratatouille.

Oh yes - and a very Happy New Year to you all, of course!

Concert Inventory

Following in my old pal George's footsteps (as I always have, as I always do) I was curious to recall the live concerts I have been to. The exercise, going way back to a Frankie Valley and the Four Seasons concert I saw in the 70's with my dad, caused my brain to ache, and I have not been able to remember all of them from the past.

I did recall a number of concerts that I saw with George: Elton John, Billy Joel, Steve Taylor, Michael W. Smith, Ray Charles and Chuck Mangione. The "when" on all of these is fuzzy.

I have, however, kept a tidy pile of ticket stubs in my desk drawer since 1998, so here's my list of concerts attended in the past nine years:

• Afro-Celt Soundsystem (WOMAD-USA: Celtic musicians and Senegalese percussionists, these guys were amazing!)
• Aimee Mann and Michael Penn (I was on an Aimee Mann kick for a while)
• Annie Lennox (an amazing stage presence, I had no idea what a spectacular performer she is, and what an amazing voice she has, until I saw her live)
• Arturo Sandoval (Cuban jazz trumpet virtuoso)
• Ben Folds Five (saw these guys - there are just three members of the group, despite the name - just before they broke up)
• Ben Folds (sans the "five," I saw him solo piano and again with his new band, and yet again having a tense phone conversation outside a restaurant in Portland, OR)
• Blind Boys of Alabama (this gospel group opened for Peter Gabriel, and are among my favorite live performers)
• Bob Newhart (Hello?)
• Chick Corea (with my friend Todd, who taught me about polyphonics)
• The Divine Comedy (a solo artist, he's English and a great songwriter)
• Eartha Kitt (saw her show at Jazz Alley - she knows what showmanship is all about!)
• Eric Idle (on his "Rips Off Monty Python" tour)
• Fleming and John
• Harvey Korman & Tim Conway
• Indigo Girls (outdoor concert at Pier 66, a memorable experience)
• Hall and Oates (my wife has this thing for Daryl Hall, who can still hit those high notes)
• Jerry Seinfeld (ask me about my "George" story sometime)
• K.D. Lang
• Nellie McKay (saw her with Mike at the Crocodile, and now I am a fan)
• Peter Gabriel (saw him both at WOMAD-USA - my daughter was tiny at the time but dug him all the same - and again on his "Growing UP" tour)
• The Police
• Ray Charles (took my parents to see Ray and the Rayettes on one of their first visits to Seattle)
• Sting (a few years ago I actually had to take a float plane out of Friday Harbor to make a Sting concert at the stunning Gorge Amphitheater in George, Washington)
• Train (great band to hear live)
• U2 (the Vertigo tour, what a show!)

Images from the Past

Shortly after Chuck returned from Japan in the mid-1990s, he and I took a trip to Busch Gardens. There was a log ride there called the Little Scoot, more of a kid's attraction than anything.


On the way down the "big" hill, they snapped a photo of the riders. Having done the Scoot once or twice, we decided to "mug" for the cameras.


The image at the left was the priceless keepsake we took home with us after the event.

Splash Down!

At Disney World, we rode Splash Mountain twice, a log ride themed after the little-seen 1946 Disney film Song of the South, a mix of live action and animated stories told by Uncle Remus about Brer Fox, Brer Bear and Brer Rabbit. I asked my daughter to comment on the experience:

"Splash Mountain is almost terrifying," my daughter said. "The big hill is a steep drop, and I am riding Splash Mountain just for [my dad]. In the picture I am feeling my stomach drop. I am thinking in the picture, that was very surprising! I did not know this was coming!"

A Very Merry Christmas Indeed

Just returned to Seattle. Been up now for 22 hours now, and cannot sleep. It's been a great week, and a Merry Christmas. Wednesday we flew to Florida and spent seven nights down there at the Wilderness Lodge at Disney World. Leave it to us to choose the one Pacific Northwest themed resort. We did not want to stray too far from home, thematically speaking.

My family convened in Columbia, SC, and I spoke to them briefly by cell phone. I miss my sis and brother in law, the folks, Nan, my grandmother, and my uncles, aunts and cousins, and wish I could have been with them. They throw a great Christmas Day dinner, and always have. Aunt Cindy's dressing, Nan's lemon pie, and Auntie Joice's tasty Christmas treats are better than any we got in Disney World.
Mimi and my brother-in-law and his new wife were together in Denver, where they had some Christmas snow! My mother-in-law is a stellar hostess, and her Christmas gatherings are a joy. The Crabbs wre missed as well, and I look forward to touching base with all of them this week to find out how things were in the mile-high city.

Funny thing, even though today is the 27th, because we were on vacation we have opened no Christmas presents. They are still under the tree. We may do so on New Year's.

Santa Claus, however, was not deterred by our Florida adventure. He managed to visit our hotel, leaving my daughter gifts which included the three things she asked for -- a Webkinz monkey, a Barbie video game and a digital camera. He left a few other things as well, including a matching raincoat and umbrella, with rain boots to boot.

Problem was, apparently he came in through the balcony and left the door open. It was freezing in the room when we awoke at 7am.

My daughter had the idea to bring a tiny tree with us, so we would have a Christmas Tree while on vacation. We bought some Mickey Mouse ornaments and decorated the tree, and as luck would have it, Cinderella gave my daughter a "Wishing Star" while at lunch at the castle at the Magic Kingdom which we used to top off the tree. Perfect!

We had a nice time, and fortunately for us, Christmas will continue throughout the next week.

Ritter

The last time I saw Steve was at a reunion in 1996. We had not spent any time together, however, since 1991, when we shared a hip bachelor pad together before Steve went into the Air Force.

It’s a great testament to the concept of friendship that the two of us were able to immediately pick right up where we left off. Last night we spent some time buying clothes for needy children and enjoyed a fine meal of raw oysters, fresh Alaskan King Salmon and Dungeness crab-stuffed sole at the Oceanaire Seafood Room in Seattle.

Steve is billeting out here in the great Pacific Northwest, pending deployment with the 62nd Airlift Wing at McChord Air Force Base on December 27th. His family is back in Germany, and Steve will be unable to spend Christmas with them this year.

So on Christmas, please join me in raising a glass, or a prayer, for Steve and his family.

I look forward to seeing him back in my neck of the woods some time in 2008.

I Have Received Many Christmas Cards This Year from My Friends at Consolidated and Allied and Acme

Do you do business with on-line retailers? And as much as you may like their product or products, do you find yourself now inundated with unsolicited postal mail and email from said on-line retailer?

And to really heap it on, does it really make your holidays that much more joyous to receive a Christmas card via email from that on-line retailer, which, when opened, turns out to be a coupon for 10% off your next purchase?

What are we becoming?

Stop the Cavalry - The Most Popular Song in the NW

I always find cultural differences among regions of the United States very interesting. There are many customs and practices here in the Pacific Northwest that do not translate well outside this region.

One of the most puzzling is the favorite Christmas song of Pacific Northwesters. I heard about it when I first moved here, and a couple of people were surprised I was not familiar with it. The song is "Stop the Calvary."

I'll include the link to the song performed as by Jona Lewie. The one that gets endless radio play here year after year is by the Cory Band. It's the most requested song on Seattle radio, and the CD is only available at one record store here.

Merry Christmas!

Is This Movie Sold Everywhere?

That's what's my daughter asked me after watching the DVD Burglar Alarm, a movie I made with friends back in 1986.

"I'm afraid no one wants to sell it," I replied.

"Too bad," she said. "Who has one?"

"People in the movie," I returned. "That's about it."

That said, my daughter is selling copies of the DVD Burglar Alarm, starring Julie Singleton, Brad Norris and Michael Homer as Thomas the butler. The cost is $14.95, which includes postage and handling. Send your email address if you are interested.

Lunch Break

My daughter makes her own lunches, apparently. I was in the kitchen this morning when she read today's lunchroom menu and she announced she would take her lunch. This is what she packed:

• A Hostess Christmas tree brownie


• Three sausage balls


• Cranberry raisins
• Fruit snacks


• Yogurt


• A satsuma

She packs it all in an Incredibles lunch bag we won at an auction last year. (It was actually an Incredibles duffel bag packed with all sorts of Incredibles products, including a pillow case and lots of toys; I think we bid $20).

I was very excited when she offered to pack me a lunch as well. I never seem to find the time to do so. I am always up and already on my business email when everyone else is having breakfast and packing lunches.

But alas, she, too, ran out of time, and was off to school before she could pack a second lunch for me.

No matter. I'll just throw a couple of satsumas in my laptop bag and be done with it. No cool lunch pails for me.

Lookit! The First Sign of Winter

That's what my daughter said tonight while we were outside looking at the meager light display we hung around the front window on Saturday. She was pointing at the sky.

"Stars! I haven't seen stars in a long time!"

My best guess is that the last time was at the beach near Charleston in July. We live in a place where one does not have the opportunity to see stars very often.

"People say that stars are holes that people poke through from Heaven."

That they are, sweetheart, that they are.

My Morning Coffee from the Inland Empire

DAVID LYNCH SAYS:

"I'd have coffee, some-times six cups, along with the shake, and I'd have sugar in my coffee. By then I would be pretty jazzed up, and I'd start writing down ideas."

"I like cappuccino, actually. But even a bad cup of coffee is better than no coffee at all. New York has great water for coffee. Water varies all around. We've got to drink something. Do you just drink water, sometimes? It's very good for you."

"If you turn away from them [cups of joe] for one second, they go cold on you."

Five for Five

I'll jump on this bandwagon with a number of my fellow bloggers, as I tend to enjoy Christmastime and its trappings:

I. What are your five favorite Christmas songs?

1. "God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen" (Jazz organist Jimmy Smith's version swings)
2. "Merry Christmas Baby" (Charles Brown)
3. "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" (Ella!)
4. "Sleigh Ride" (partial to Doc Severinson's version, though Johnny Mathis' take is pretty good)
5. "Winter Wonderland"

II. Five foods you look forward to at Christmastime?

1. Sausage Balls (Paula Dean uses my recipe)
2. Auntie Joice's dessert tray
3. Chex Mix
4. Turkey & Dressing
5. Egg Nog with a bit of nutmeg (Alton Brown's receipe)

III. Five favorite presents of all time?

There are just too many to list just five, though a red necktie circa 1974 comes to mind as being close to the top.

IV. What are your five favorite holiday TV specials?

1. "A Charlie Brown Christmas" (it's about the true meaning of Christmas)
2. "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town" (fond memories from my childhood)
3. "Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer (Hermey the elf dentist just cracks me up)
4. "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" (classic Christmas TV)
5. "The Year Without a Santa Claus" (I recall that in sixth grade Robert Strickland knew the words to all the songs)

V. Top five holiday-themed films?

1. It's A Wonderful Life (James Stewart is at his most memorable as George Bailey)
2. Scrooge (the musical version with Albert Finney and Alec Guinness)
3. The Bells of Saint Mary's (Ingrid Bergman teaching the kid to box is priceless)
4. Holiday Inn (Bing Crosby and Astaire deliver Irving Berlin's timeless songs)
5. Miracle on 34th Street (the 1974 TV version with Sebastian Cabot)

December

Todd has come out to Seattle for a little vacation and R&R, and it's been a fine weekend so far, with some good food, a little live jazz at Dimitrio's with Chick Corea, a Holiday Bazaar where we purchased a few gifts, and now it's snowing.

Play Ball!

I was pleasantly surprised to hear from a long-time friend on Wednesday, who sent along a photo taken in 1992 at Dodgers Stadium.

L.A. was playing the Astros that night. Note the requisite peanuts and Cracker Jack.

Ahh..baseball.

And by "long-time friend," I do mean it's been a long time since we first met. I have to confess I have known Chris since we were both three years old. Too many years to count, I am afraid. But I am ever glad we manage somehow to keep in touch over the years and miles that separate us.

40 is the New 30

That's what they say, anyhow, and I have seen no evidence to the contrary.

Getting Off the Plane

I had a fabulous weekend.

Thanks-giving was perfect at Uncle Larry's in Denver, my mother-in-law was a fine hostess, then a beautiful wedding on Saturday followed by a reception on Market Street where my daughter spent two non-stop hours on the dance floor. My daughter, pictured here with Sharkey, looked so grown up in her black dress for the rehearsal dinner at Denver's Aquarium (where my brother-in-law dives to feed the fishes).

I flew back into Seattle yesterday, arrived home, and it occurred to me that I do not have a trip booked until the 19th of December, and that one is vacation, and not business.

This weekend, my old pal Todd comes for a visit, and we'll celebrate our 40th together with some live jazz.

The holidays are off to a fine start.

Wedding Bells for Turkeys

My brother-in-law Curtis marries the love of his life, Karla, this weekend in Denver. I am off to Denver on the red-eye to join my daughter, wife and her extended family for a long-overdue wedding.

Curt and Karla are a great match, and my wife (and probably her mother and other relatives and friends) are pleased and relieved that my bro-in-law is finally settling down.

He's got a great woman in Karla; I hope she knows what she's getting, because Curt definitely has the sweet end of this deal. (Just kiddin', bro.)

Happy Thanksgiving and congratulations!

Picking a Place for Burgers

There is this burger joint near where we live that many people said was a great place for cheeseburgers and shakes. So when I first moved in to the neighborhood my sister and I decided to check the place out, and confirmed, many years ago now, that
the old short order cook was an Olympic-class nose picker. He practiced his sport while hovering over the grill cooking burgers.

We did not finish our food that day. Slurped the sodas and took off.

I will never go there again.

Tonight I told my daughter why we could not go there to eat. "The man that cooks the hamburgers, he's a nose picker."

Harper, she with such a compassionate and forgiving spirit, replied, "Maybe for Christmas we could get him some gloves. Then he can take off his glove to pick and put it back on again when he's done."

Thoughts

Today's random thoughts:

• What ever happened to Grace Jones? She was popular there for a while in the 80s, then nothing.


• I thought I saw Carrot Top walking down 5th Avenue in Seattle today. Women: do you find that he grows more attractive with age?


• I have concluded that being parboiled would hurt.


• I have discovered that the small packs of Listerine breath strips manage to hold up surprisingly well through a warm water wash cycle and the dryer. Though the intensity of the breath strips is lessened somewhat, there is no soapy aftertaste.


• Overheard at the java stand: "They were just driving around on the roof. But because they were in a Pontiac, I pretended they weren't there."

Peanuts in the Pot

I have put up about 7 quarts of boiled peanuts thus far, and my third batch is on the stove.

I was pleased to find Chuck was trying his hand at boiling some peanuts as well.

As for salting, I have experimented with Morton's salt, Kosher salt and sea salt, and thus far my money is on sea salt for best results.

I took a break last night and went to the cinema and saw The Darjeeling Limited, a movie I liked a great deal, oddly funny and quirky in that Wes Anderson-Rushmore-Royal Tennenbaums kind of way. Though I am not sure what to think of the short film The Hotel Chevalier, which serves as something of a back story for Darjeeling.

Oh! That reminds me -- I think I'd like a cup of tea. With sweet lime.

It's My Daughter, Eloise

Halloween is past, but this year my daughter drew from children's literature for her Halloween costume.

She went as Eloise, a six year old child who lives the good life in the Plaza Hotel in New York, from a series of books by Kay Thompson originally published in the 1950s.

Leave it to my daughter to go trick-or-treating as a semi-obscure literary character.

Dad Pulls Through

I discovered many years ago that you can freeze peanuts -- if they're boiled.

Before I got married, during the fall, I used to buy ten pounds or so of green peanuts, meaning raw peanuts in the shell, they way they come out of the ground, and boil them, bag them and freeze them. I would enjoy them during the winter, mainly on the weekends during football games. A quick defrost in the microwave and you're good to go.

After I moved to Seattle, a place wherein one cannot merely purchase green peanuts in the shell, my dad would send me some on occasion, during October, when the peanut crop was in. I would boil and freeze them and enjoy them during football games throughout the rest of the winter.

Fast forward to today...ah! a huge box of green peanuts was delivered to my doorstep just this afternoon, and on Saturday and Sunday I will be boiling them and putting them up.

I could not be more pleased.

And for my friends outside of South Carolina and Georgia, who do not know about boiled peanuts -- they are boiled in the shell, heavily salted and are very tasty.

Perhaps an acquired taste, as one year I sampled them to some Seattle friends and they responded politely but secretly suspected I was crazy.

Excerpts from My Diary, October 2007

A New Essence: I assisted my sister, working with cosmetics professionals, in choosing her new scent. I steered her toward natural essences, and she seems pleased.

Waterboarding: I like what John McCain has to say about this, about it not being about the technique, but about the United States taking the moral high ground.

My Accident: Brought my sister skating with us, and she witnessed my accident. Spaghetti Legs pulled me down on top of her and I injured my ankle. It’s always the right one. I tore it up moving into that townhouse in Columbia, SC, eleven or twelve years ago, carrying a clothes dryer up the steps. I also heard it pop when a rock I was on shattered while hiking up to a glacial lake in the Cascades with Mike in 1999. I went down hard and my pack went right over the side. In a bizarre turn of events, a nurse, a pharmacist and mountaineer arrived on the scene to rescue me. And in April, I broke that same foot running through the house with no shoes.

Chicago Style Pizza: As a treat for the guys in the office I ordered two deep dish pies from Edwardo’s Natural Pizza today. Mmmmmm! I have come to prefer great Chicago-style pizza to any other variety, and I will not leave Chicago without ordering a deep dish from one of my favorite joints. Edwardo's is second only to Gino's East in Chicago (the best!). Connie's, Pizzeria Uno and Pizzeria Duo round out the top five. Slices are two inches thick, hot and delicious, the entire pizza is covered over in tomato sauce. Two slices and I'm stuffed.

Coming Home: Back from Chicago. Happy to be in Seattle. I brought my daughter a box of shortbread, which she enjoyed.

No Skating: No skating for me today. Perhaps next week. Harper and her mother went, but Harper’s new skates had not arrived.

Coffee: Sis and I went to the original Starbucks down by the Market, a place I take coffee-loving visitors to Seattle. They have a coffee blend that's available there and nowhere else.

Caveman: I saw something about the Geico caveman TV show, wherein it was referred to as a “travesty of television.” Nothing could have pleased me more.

On Vampires: I watched a trailer for a new vampire movie, and was stuck how classless vampires have become in the past thirty or forty years. At one time, vampires took pride in their appearance: tuxedo, medal, silk-line cape. They were immaculately groomed and kept their fangs sharpened. Now, the vampires you see walking around look like street kids. Where do they keep their coffins?

For George

Blog Update: Where in the world is James?

Marketing Conference

Executives with the Happy Hamburger Company decide to fire Happy the Hamburger Clown.